AUbarnie

The AUbarnie Returns...

2011-04-14T10:38:00.000-07:00

I apologize sincerely for the unannounced leave of absence, but since Aubarn, AL, won the elusive Iron Bowl National Championship trophy, I decided to go on a sixth month spiritual journey in the wooded trails of Opelika and what I found was truly reinvigorating to say the least... Now I'm back and better than ever!

With that being said, we've definitely got a lot on our plate to discuss ranging from Updyke's Corner to tainted trophies displayed at Wal-Mart to I(ncomprehensible)-Man updates to Jeff Lee to Lord Lowder's re-election to more Barnies of the Week than fur on a sheep's back to all things Alabammer, and much, much more.

So, stay tuned my fellow AUtards because the AUbarnie is back, bizitches!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!!

$CAM LOOTIN'S NOW ON TWITTER!!!

2010-12-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

I was in Atlanta...or was I? RT @ErinAndrews ALERT: The Lee Corso Gm Day mascot head was stolen in Corvallis.

My dad's church is now using Cammy Cam Juice as one of the elements in the Lord's Supper. #wareagle

I'll only answer questions that are on my cheat sheet that was prepared for me by my lawyer.

Watching #Lebron's return to Cleveland and hoping that Auburn fans don't treat me like this when truth comes out and I take their $ and run.

Just call me webCam: http://www.youtube.com/user/02thescoop

These #blackfriday deals on laptops are ridiculous! Almost as good as...nevermind. #wareagle

I wanted to get Facebook but my dad made me get Twitter.

See more here.

Here comes the Barnies!!!

2010-11-26T01:39:00.000-08:00

AND WE TAKING OVER TUSCALOOSER, ALABAMMER!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-11-26T01:03:00.000-08:00

Sources are saying the lyrics are being changed to "50 Ways To Buy The Heisman". More to come, soon....

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY AND WAR DAMN 50 WAYS TO WIN THE HEISMAN HEY!!

Barnies as South Park Characters Part 2:

2010-11-26T00:54:00.000-08:00

CHARLES FROM REELTOWN!!!

Sir Charles from Reeltown is prominently known for being the self-proclaimed master in the art of "Country Boy Ass-Whupin's". As seen in the first pic, above, Sir Charles from Reeltown, as a South Park character, sporting the coveted Country Boy Ass-Whupin heavyweight belt!

Clicky to see the first character.

ALL IN: ALL I DO IS CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT CHEAT...

2010-11-26T00:24:00.000-08:00

...GOT MONEY ON MY MIND, I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH... SO JUST KEEP IT DOWN HOME, CUZ!

IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP IS UPON US!!!!!!

2010-11-26T00:04:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the delay in updates as I have been in hibernation mode, awaiting Aubarn (AL)'s annual national Championship game....

This time, it's for real!

The reigning Iron Bowl Moral Victory National Champions are taking on Alabammer. Someone told me Aubarn (AL) clinched the SEC Championship berth, but besides the fact that none of us know how to get to Atlanter, who cares about an SEC Championship when we can win us an Iron Bowl National Championship!!!

And just in time for the Iron Bowl National Championship, you can sport your very own $CAM LOOTIN' shoes!

Buy them while they're hot! Taunt your BAMMER friends! Help Aubarn (AL) University continue its $CAM LOOTIN' underground funding program by purchasing a pair of these beauties today!

And always remember, my fellow Barnies....

Bin Laden is a Bammer fan....

and...

BAMMER AIN'T SHIT!!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-10-29T23:39:00.000-07:00

The old saying goes, "Cam "God" Newton is what every man wants to be, and what every woman wants in between her sheets." Just 'cause we livez in the deep south and are the biggest damn conservatives in the world, who sayz some of our classy Aubarn (AL) Men don't want Newtron in between his sheets too?

Perhaps this classy Aubarn (AL) Man seen this photo a few days before he had the rare privilege of touching our savior... just trying to get a hand on it, or in it?

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-10-29T23:27:00.000-07:00

THAT U OF A TEAM AUBARN (AL) + THE OFFICIALS BEAT, WASN'T EXACTLY THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMMER...

Rammer Jammur, Yeller Hammer, Go To Heyll Alabammer!!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

I(ncomprehensible)-Man's Thoughts on Cam "Jesus" Newtron, Ole Myth, and the 2010 CF Season...

2010-10-29T23:26:00.000-07:00

I-Man: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka
the only undefeated Finebaum caller.

ALL I DO IS WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN ON THE FINEBAUM SHOW, JUST LIKE MY MIGHTY AUBARN (AL) TIGERZ DO ON THE FIELD... WHAT ABOUT YAL'L, MY FELLOW BAMMER ~~ENVYING~~ HATING AUBARN (AL) FAMILY MEMBERZ???

YA KNOW, RIGHT NOW AUBARN (AL) IS UNDEFEATED AND ALABAMMER IS DEFEATED!!! ALABAMMER LOST TO A TEAM WE STRAIGHT UP OBLITERATED SO BAD, STEVE SPURRIER HAD TO PUT HIS SECOND STRING QUARTERBACK IN!!! AND WHAT DID ALABAMMER DO THAT TEAM??? THEY STRAIGHT UP GOT WHOOPED ON!!!

BY MY LOGIC, ALABAMMER IS GONNA GET PWNED BY THE MESSIAH, DELL CAM NEWTON! IT AIN'T EVEN GONNA BE CLOSE!!! ALABAMMER DOESN'T HAVING THE COACHING THAT CLEMSON HAS. THEY DON'T HAVE THE QUARTERBACK THAT MISSERSIPPI STATE HAS. AND THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T HAVE THE DEFENSE THAT KENTUCKY HAS. THAT'S THE ONLY REASON WE WON BY 3 POINTS, AND GUESS WHAT... WE'RE GONNA WIN BY 300 IN THE IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!!

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!! AUBARN WILL SCORE 300 POINTS IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES OF THE IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, AND BECAUSE THOSE CHEATING, CROOKED REFS ARE ON BAMMERZ SIDE, THEY'LL ENFORCE A MERCY RULE AND END THE GAME, BEFORE CAM "NICK SATAN" NEWTON CAN SCORE 3000 ON THEM!!

BOOK IT NOW AND BECOME A MILLIONAIRE!! I'VE ALREADY CONTACTED VEGAS AND SO SHOULD YOU... UNTIL NEXT TIME... I-MAN.... OUT!

CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK MONDAY-FRIDAY!

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-10-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

Bob Davie: "You have to worry about the Auburn fans; there are a lot of fans here in orange jerseys, if they're not exhausted. Cheering so hard for South Carolina in that game earlier this afternoon. I mean, the roar in this stadium (from Auburn fans) when South Carolina scored you would of thought there was a live game going on."

Vicarious Living

The biggest cheers from the Auburn contingent Saturday night might have been about a game more than 400 miles away.

Tigers fans twice broke out in cheers as news of state rival Alabama’s loss to South Carolina spread.

A group gathered in the corner of one upper deck to peer into a luxury box, which showed the Gamecocks’ 35-21 upset of the Crimson Tide.

They cheered loudly in the pre-game when USC running back Marcus Lattimore scored a late touchdown. They erupted again when the final score was announced over the PA during the first half.

BARNIES OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-10-05T18:33:00.000-07:00

The Tatted up members of the Aubarn (AL) incestuous family!!!

And of course, you wouldn't be a true member of the Aubarn (AL) family WITHOUT... ANTI-BAMMER TATTOOS!!!

And then there's the chotch (love the chinaberries):

IT'S GREAT TO BE AN AUBARN (AL) TIGER!!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

What is little man's syndrome? Part 2...

2010-10-02T23:25:00.001-07:00

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-10-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

It's just another day on ITAT!

AL-UF is the most meaningless "Big Game" of the year.

Go Gators!!!

lets say

Texas: Proof Bammer will be brought down to earth...

recruiting stars dont mean everything

The signs that we use to send in plays

Whose crew is officiating the UF=UAt game tonight?

ULM put up more of a fight than UF**

Awful Florida.

do the turds say roll tide after every first down?

stupid play against bama, UF

Julio Jones' purple Liberace suit was awful

"The last 3 winners of this game have gone on to win

Pouncey will cost UF games, this year.

PAWL,,, aint nobody nowhere aint never gonna beat this team

We will beat alabama ...

Could Florida not shoot itself in the foot anymore

UF is just awful

We will not beat Alabama (Aubarnie: WHAT??!! OBVIOUSLY A BAMMER)

Wow, Florida finally runs a sweep and picks up good yardage

Unbelievable

After that pic-6, I wonder if UF would rather have SuperCAM

there was a PI no call in the endzone

Are the announcers...

The Necks have taken the field (the mock bama thread)

If Julio Jones is the best in the SEC

to shut em up you got to beat em

"Just as the ball got there" my arse...

Dre

Interesting stat

Mark Ingram for Heisman

AU offensive talent vs UF offensive talent

McElroy looks like a fairy

I don't know about you guys

Saban is a jerk

UF was in the red zone 5 times

So... what's it take to beat the turds...

UAT looks good (AUbarnie: WHAT??!! OBVIOUSLY A BAMMER!!)

Not Sure Whether Miles or Saban is Luckiest

Alabama has the most disciplined offensive line in the SEC

Needless to say there were far fewer posts related to Aubarn (AL)'s monumental win over a team who owns a winning record over Nick $atan, therefore, it's just another day at ITA(AL)T!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Top Ten AU Moments of the Decade: Number 6

2010-09-29T00:40:00.000-07:00

THE 2004 UNDEFEATED SEC CHAMPIONS AND IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!

The Virtues of an Aubarn (AL) University Education

2010-09-29T00:30:00.000-07:00

We've seen what it can do for Junior "I has a crayon" Rosegreen, "St-st-stutterin" Kenny Irons, Cadillac "Illiterate" Williams, but now, you'll see what it did for two members of the Aubarn (AL) family, one being TMTMTL, Sir Charles Barkley aka get down on dez nuts, bitch...

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

ESPN Aubarn (AL) Fail

2010-09-29T00:24:00.001-07:00

With all the recent spelling mishaps taking place in Tuscalooser, as we questioned whether or not Alabammer hirez Aubarn (AL) grads or not, it appears ESPN may have an Aubarn (AL) grad or two working CG in the control room.

With that being said, regardless as to whether they do have AUtards working in the control room or not...

HAHAHAHAHAHA ALABAMER, ESPEN WAS TALKING BOUT US AND NOT YOU. THEY GOT US CONFUSED WITH LSWHO CAUSE THEY HAD THEIR MINDS ON US AND NOT YOU!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Clemson vs. Aubarn (AL)...

2010-09-16T19:44:00.001-07:00

Orange and blue colors... a school with a lake and one without... one's mascot is a tiger while one of the mascots is a tiger at the other... one school is located in South Carolina, while the other is located in Georgia AND the school in Georgia also has a rock named Howard!

"Fans are loyal to college football because it is built on its tried-and-true traditions. From Chief Osceola at Florida State to Southern California’s Traveler, from rubbing Howard’s rock at Auburn to Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame, the sport has rich ties to the past."

Looks like we gots us a new tradition... that's one more that Alabammer doesn't have!!! HAHA ALABAMMER! WE GOTS HOWARD ROCK TRADITION AND YALL DON'T!!! HAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

I(ncomprehensible)-Man's Thoughts on A(AL)U vs. Clemson

2010-09-16T19:20:00.000-07:00

I-Man: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka

the only undefeated Finebaum caller.

I'M NOT AFRAID... I'M NOT AFRAID... EVERYBODY... EVERYBODY... HEY HEY HEY! WHAT IT BE MY AUBARN HOMIES?!

YALL KNOW IT'S WEEK THREE AND...... BAMMER'S UNDEFEATED. THAT JUST MAKES ME MADDER THAN A GAY DUDE BEING HIT ON BY A GIRL. EVERY YEAR IT'S THE SAME OLE SHIT. HOW CAN A TWO-TIME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP WINNING COACH, WITH NFL EXPERIENCE, COACHING THE MOST STORIED AND TRADITION RICH PROGRAM IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL HISTORY BE SO SUCCESSFUL???? IT'S SIMPLE: THOSE ASS-PIRATES ARE CHEATING! CHEATING! CHEATING! CHEATING!

IT'S BEEN SAID MORE THAN A TIME OR TWO THAT THE PLOI WILL BE SENT IN THREE WEEKS, PROBLEM IS IT DIDN'T COME. HOWEVER, RECENT STUDIES HAVE SHOWN MOST AUBARN FANS CAN'T COUNT, THEREFORE, THEY DID MEAN IT WAS COMING, BUT JUST HAD THEIR MATH A LITTLE WRONG. NO BIG DEAL. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES AND WE ALL KNOW WE AUBARN FANS ARE FAR FROM PERFECT.

BUT THE PLOI IS COMING AND ALABAMMER WILL BE SLAMMED WITH NCAA SANCTIONS AND AUBARN, AL WILL REIGN SUPREME!

I KNOW I CAN'T WAIT, WHAT ABOUT YALL??? BTW, WHO IS AUBARN PLAYING AGAIN THIS WEEKEND? I KNOW ALABAMMER IS PLAYING DUKE, AT WALLACE WADE STADIUM AND THEY'VE INCREASED THEIR CAPACITY FOR THIS ONE GAME ALONE, AND IT WILL BE ON ABC, AND INGRAM WILL BE RETURNING, AND NICK SATAN REFERRED TO DUKE AS A DANGEROUS TEAM, AND I CAN GO ON AND ON AND ON.

SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, I KNOW AUBARN IS PLAYING SOMETIME THIS WEEKEND. CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE IT'S BEING PLAYED AND WHAT TIME ON WHAT DAY. BUT ANYWHO, SOMEBODY REMIND ME QUICK! BUT I AIN'T WATCHING AUBARN PLAY IF ITS THE SAME TIME BAMMER IZ ON.

I-MAN.... OUT! CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK MONDAY-FRIDAY!

What is little man's syndrome/Pat "Cough" Dye Gives Barnies a Word of Advice...

2010-09-15T21:37:00.000-07:00

Aside from growing 'maters, spittin' tobaccer, and drinking just enough cough syrup to get drunk and lose his pants, what's sir Patrick Fain Dye been up to these days? I'll tell you what the mother fucker's been up to... speaking to Aubarn (AL) fans in Montgomery is what he's doing...

"If they get beat, it will be an upset," Dye told a huge crowd at the Montgomery Quarterback Club's meeting Tuesday night. "But you have to be lucky to go undefeated, I don't care how good you are.
"If they are not at the top of their game and the team they're playing is at the top of their game, that team will have a chance to win. The SEC is just too tough a league."
"This is kind of hard to say as an Auburn man, but Alabama is a fun team to watch," he said. "They play the game the way it ought to be played.
"Alabama's got the right man in there now," Dye said, referring to Tide head coach Nick Saban. "But it took them 20 years. We've got a good coach at Auburn right now, and the fans need to trust him.
...................................
"The big thing is, Auburn needs to worry about what's happening at Auburn and not worry about what's happening across the state. Because we can only control what goes on at Auburn. If we are the best that we can be at Auburn, then that'll take care of Alabama."

So is Pat Dye a hypocrite? And what's the point of Aubarn (AL) football if ya can't AUbsess over The University of Alabammer????

Gameday is coming to Aubarn (AL)...

2010-09-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

So what kind of signs should you expect to see?

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-09-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

It's almost game-time baby and what does that mean? The Iron Bowl National Championship is right around the corner... all 11 games leading up to the National Championship is merely tune-up games for the Aubarn (AL) Tigers/Eagles/Plainsmen/Rodeo Lovers/Wire Road Rodents/Cowboys.

And to honor the forthcoming NC game, I present to you THIS WEEK'S Barnie of the Week...

Miss Lady, trust me when I say I, along with the rest of the incestuous Aubarn (AL) family, hate Alabammer too... much more than I love Aubarn (AL)! We thank you for your strong devotion to hating Alabammer!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Aubarn (AL)'s New Pro Combat Uniforms Unveiled today...

2010-09-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

And they're utterly awesome!

WEAGLE WEAGLE WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-08-29T19:23:00.000-07:00

It is Jay Jacobs' Master Plan...

Jay Jacobs wants to make one thing perfectly clear. The Auburn Tigers are not copycats.
The Auburn AD is very much aware that his biggest rival is finishing its second major expansion in the last four years, that Bryant-Denny Stadium now looks like Jordan-Hare on HGH.

But if you're waiting for Auburn to follow Alabama's lead, don't hold your breath until you turn blue. Or orange.

"We're not going to increase our capacity just because someone else is increasing their capacity," Jacobs said. "We're going to do what's best for us."

source

BARNIES OF THE WEEK!!!!!

2010-08-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

I present to you...

Two very fine representatives of the classy Aubarn (AL) Incestuous family: Tammy and Charles...

One is "Charles from Reeltown." The other is "Tammy," who lives so far out in the boondocks of Coosa County that rattlesnakes have free rein and mail carriers don't come to her house off a dirt road because it's a mile beyond the delivery limit.
What these grandparents have in common is ~~a love for the Auburn Tigers and~~ a disdain for most things crimson. As expected, they can't wait for the season to start Sept. 4.
Satellite listeners are now familiar with them as they tune in the Paul Finebaum Radio Network and hear them castigate Alabama and Coach Nick Saban.
"I call him Nick the dictator or just 'Nictator,'" said "Charles," whose real name is Kenneth Fomby -- born and raised in Tallassee, but living in Reeltown the past quarter century.
"Fame ain't affected me none," said Tammy Hethcox. "I'm a redneck woman, and I'll always be one."

Continue the story here

Aubarn (AL) is the NEW number 1 team in the land!!!

2010-08-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHA ALABAMMER!!! AJC VOTES US THE MOST OBNOXIOUS FAN BASE AND NOT YALL!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!1 HAHAHAHAHAHA!! HA! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

1. Auburn (No. 2 in 2008, No. 6 in 2010 AJC.com poll): Because Tiger fans still worship at the tainted feet of Pat Dye. Because they run off coaches on a whim. Because they’ve grown as arrogant as Alabama backers without one-tenth the justification. Because they’re still whining over the national championship they didn’t win in 2004. Because the world’s worst fan — the Montgomery banker Bobby Lowder — is an Auburn man. And because I would pay money (though not a lot) to see Bobby Lowder in jean shorts.

-AJC

All I gots to say is we have every right to be obnoxious:

-6 straight Iron Bowl National Championship victories
-1/2 AP title in a gazillion years
-Just as many SEC titles as Georgia Tech*
-Just as many bowl appearances as Alabama has bowl victories
-Coach 13-24
-More mascots than Lindsey Lohan has freckles
-Trailer Park housing
-Aubarn (AL) University endorsed rodeos
-Fraternity KKK meetings
-A university that looks like a brickyard puked onto a cow pasture

And last but not least...

We've gots the best looking cows in America!

GOT ALL THAT BAMMER? YOU SURE DON'T!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

*Georgia Tech left the SEC in 1964

Think again Byron...

2010-08-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

Byron owns one of the finest BBQ pits here in Lee County (the FDA blames Byron for 90% of the Lee County population being overweight)... Byron also owns 3/4ths of the junkyards in Lee County.

This Bud is for you, Byron!

The AUbarnie song of the day...

2010-08-26T11:52:00.000-07:00

NO TOSSING USED TOILET PAPER IN THE TREES TODAY, GANGSTERS!!!

"Southern California has been stripped of its 2004 Grantland Rice Trophy, which was awarded to the Trojans for winning the national championship that season.

However, the Football Writers Association of America (FWAA) declined to name a replacement for USC"s vacated spot.

There was some thought that Auburn might be named the 2004 national champion by the FWAA with USC being stripped of the title, and that was a scenario that was discussed. Ultimately, the FWAA decided not to name anybody."

-USC's Loss Isn't Aubarn (AL)'s Gain

Never has a school boasted so much, yet claimed so little....
-Unknown (haha)

I(ncomprehensible)-Man Returns...

2010-08-23T21:54:00.001-07:00

And him's bringing the Mountain Man Band along with hims!

Do you have a thirst for Incomprehensible Man's dizzy logic?

Are you hungry for some blind Incomprehensible Man commentary?

Are you unable to listen to his ongoing nonsense on the Paul Finebaum show?

Do you miss Incomprehensible Man's weekly ya ya just as much as you miss the girl/guy who took your virginity?

If the aforementioned applies to you, well you're in luck because Incomprehensible Man IS BACK and he has a letter to all of the faithful Aubarn (AL) Men and Women and children and pets:

WAZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUP!!! HERE I COME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY: I-MAN MY ALBURN PEEPS!!!

FORGIVE MY HIATUS BUT I-MAN HAS BEEN ON A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY BITCHES! THAT'S RIGHT, ONE DAY UPON AWAKENING I DECIDED I HAD ENOUGH AND IT WAS TIME FOR A CHANGE. SO I LOADED UP MY PICKUP WITH RAMEN NOODLES AND VIENNA SAUSAGES AND BUD LIGHT AND PULLED OUT THE DRIVEWAY. THEN... MY FUCKING TRUCK BROKE DOWN NOT EVEN FIVE MILES FROM THE HOUSE. SO THEN, I BEGAN TO WALK. SOME CALL IT A LABOR OF LOVE, AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS. I WAS WALKING BECAUSE I LOVE AUBARN. MY DESTINATION: THE GREAT BEYOND AKA INDIANAPOLIS INDIANA.

NOW WHY WAS I WALKING ALL THE WAY TO INDIANAPOLIS INDIANA? DUHHHH TO DELIVER EVIDENCE OF ALABAMMER CHEATING. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. ANYWAY, LONG STORY SHORT, I DID IN FACT MAKE IT TO INDIANAPOLIS BUT THE FREAKING NCAA HEADQUARTERS WERE CLOSED, AND I WAS STUCK INT HE POURING RAIN BUT I DID THE SMART THING AND LEFT THE LETTER ON THE DOORSTEP.

SO ANY DAY NOW THE NCAA WILL DELIVER THE HAMMER ON ALABAMMER AND I'LL BE HERE TO REPORT IT TO YOU FIRST BECAUSE I-MAN IS BACK BIOTCHES AND HOES!!!!

IN THE MEANTIME, YOU CAN CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK MONDAY-FRIDAY!

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-08-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

It is Cameron "Dell" Newton's unforgettable quote:

“Oh, no doubt,” the starter said. “Anytime you turn on the TV or you turn on the sports talk radio show or anywhere, they’re talking about the other team ... Of course, we know that they’re an excellent team as well. We feel like we’re not being mentioned as we should be.”

Welcome to the second-rate inferior world of Lee County, Dell Newton! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

source

Barnie of the week: Fatal 4 Way Youtube Edition!

2010-08-15T22:09:00.000-07:00

The Wild Man

VS. Weagle Weagle Tards

VS. The Aubarn (AL) Dance

VS. The Beer Helmet Genius

Update on THE Best Running Back in the State of Alabammer...

2010-08-15T22:02:00.000-07:00

Newsweek is calling Tate's performance, "Miraculous! The best -5 yard running back in the NFL!"

USA Today is hailing Ben Tate as the "Preseason Rookie of the Year!"

Mike Singletary is raving, "Ben Tate is not ready for the NFL!"

Oh the tears of unfathomable sadness... yummy!

Proof: ALABAMMER HIRES AUBARN (AL) GRADS...

2010-08-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

As you can tell by the immaculate spelling, courtesy of our big brother across the state, The University of Alabammer hires the Aubarn (AL) spelling bee champions to proof-read their tickets (as seen below):

The real mystery is, which Aubarn (AL) grad was it?

Your guess is as good as mine! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

GOT FIVE?????

2010-08-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

WE DO!!!! HAHAHA ALABMMER, WE GOTS FIVE NASHUNAL TITLES AND YALL DON'T!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Looks like our long lost friend can finally rest in peace!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-08-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

Who knew Epic Beard Man was an Aubarn (AL) fan?

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

AUBARNIE IS BACK!!!...

2010-08-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

...and just in time for football season!

I apologize for the Summer-long absence, but the AUbarnie has spent his Summer helping the good folks of the Gulf of Mexico, and even though BP claims they have "plugged the leak" I still encourage everyone keep the fine people of the Gulf in your good thoughts and prayers, and continue to support them in every way possible as hundreds of thousands are still jobless due to the unfortunate crisis.

SaveOurGulf .org

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-04-25T16:49:00.000-07:00

You might be a ~~redneck~~ Barnie if...

If the perfect push-up can work for this guy, then why not you?

Let's wash 'em like we do the cows!

Straight from the Front Page of the AUbarn (AL) Villager:

2010-04-23T16:49:00.001-07:00

Click the image for higher resolution view

Looks like I'll now finally get to check Aubarn (AL)'s City Fest and seeing Farmer John perform live in person, off my Bucket List!!!
source

Barnies as South Park Characters

2010-04-22T23:13:00.001-07:00

In more recent news, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, creators of the hit controversial show South Park, have once again found a way to piss off the strict followers of the Islamic faith... and to honor their ballsy efforts of continuously finding ways to get under the folks who are more delusional than them there Bammers, I'd like to pay tribute to the show by dramatically transforming real life Barnies into animated South Park Characters.

So without further ado, I present to you...

I-MAN!!!!!

See the resemblance? I was thinking this guy could fly as the brother of Randy Marsh! And as the Ghetto Avenue Boys once sang, I-Man has definitely "Got it" except he ain't no girl... at least last time he reported for his monthly sheep duty shift here in Lee County, he wasn't...

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Top Ten AU Moments of the Decade: Number 7

2010-04-22T16:07:00.000-07:00

The Ring!!!

What makes The University of Aubarn (AL) so unique? What separates our football program from the rest? Well, not many people can say they have a national championship ring from a year they didn't win a national title, but we Barnies can!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!! WE ARE THE 2004 UNDEFEATED (AND IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONS) PEOPLE'S AND JASON CAMPBELL'S NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!!!

OT: Who we barn-tards hate outside of the football realm!

2010-04-21T21:47:00.000-07:00

As you are aware, being an Aubarn (AL) fan is no cake walk. Each and every day we are forced to awaken knowing that we are Aubarn (AL) supporters. It's not an easy fact to cope with by no means, but we do it anyhow! Admittedly, we spend 3/4ths of our lives doing everything within the limits of our humanly power attempting to destroy the mothership: The Alabammer Crimson Turd. And three simple words (unless you're a sociology major or your Carnell "Pinto" Williams, Junior "I has a crayon" Rosegreen, or "St-st-stuttering" Kenny Irons then it might not seem so simple, but one day it will after leaving the confines of Lee County) pretty much sums up our daily attempt to destroy Alabammer: we epically fail!

But that's besides the point. Enough Alabammer football ~~envy~~ hate talk... instead, let's focus on the things we ~~envy~~ hate, outside of Alabammer football. I'm talking a little gem known as the entertainment industry. And for those of you barnies who've yet to buy yourself a picture box, and the rest of you who have bought one, but can't pick up a signal on the antenna then these next few sentences are for you... In a land, far, far away there lies a futuristic civilization (and we ain't talking Columbus, GA) where the picture boxes are flat, the pick-up trucks don't have no rust on the hood (and they run perfectly fine), cow pastures are replaced with tall buildings and double-wides are replaced by two story homes, and the women have all their teeth. I'm talking Hollywood and... ah hell, well if your Aubarn (AL) loving arse don't know what Hollywood iz, then you probably ain't even reading this message because that Aubarn (AL) degree didn't require you to pass 1st grade reading!

Anyhow, this is the first of a four part series we'll be posting here at the AUbarnie... and without further ado, my fine Aubarn (AL) family, I present to you the people we Aubarn (AL) fans should hate, outside of Alabammer football:

Starting with...

THE FEATURE FILM INDUSTRY

1) Channing Tatum:
Not because he's an Alabammer fan, or because he's inventing a new Alabammer hand gesture to counter Texas' Hook 'em gesture, but because Dear John was gay and Aubarn (AL) rodeos are not.

NOTE: We don't hate the Jonas brothers or Leann Rimes.

2) Eva Longoria:
Stop judging me people because again, it's not because she's affiliating herself with the Alabammer program here, but because every time I get a copy of "The Corner News", and after glancing through the comic section (our favorite section), I take a glance over the sports page, and anytime baseball news breaks from Tampa Bay, I get their third basemen confused with a Desperate Housewife character.

3) Melissa Joan Hart:
Not 'cause the hubby's an Alabammer fan, or 'cause she pulls for Alabammer too, but because he's ugly, out of shape, and appears to be disoriented. When you got all that fame, fortune, and brains, why can't you use that sense of judgment to pick a dime-piece stud such as myself, I(ncomprehensible)-Man, Charles From Reeltown, Cock-Fighter, or Aubarn (AL)'s Marlboro Man? Hell, where is that bammer standing? On a sidewalk! Therefore that means he is a sidewalk fan! He ain't going NO WHERE in life! Hell he probably can't even find Tuscalooser, Alabammer on a map, just like there ain't no way in hell we Aubarn (AL) fans can find Atlanter on a map either (cause we ain't never gone play in the Jawga Dome again). At least I, along with the I and Marlboro Man, Charles, and Cock-Fighter all gots a master degrees from the prestigious Aubarn (AL) University!

Wait a minute... she's standing on a sidewalk AND she pulls for Alabammer too... that means SHE'S A SIDEWALK FAN AND WE HATES HER CAUSE OF THAT TOO!!!

4) Sela Ward:
Who on Earth names their daughters Sela??? Really??? In Aubarn (AL) we have class and sophistication. We name our kids classy names such as Lizard, Poodles, and Tim Tebow.

5) Courtney Cox:

It's obvious by the last name and we've all seen the leaked sex tape of her and Ace Ventura therefore, she's a whore!

6) David Arquette:

'Cause he's married to that two-timing no good whore!

7) Rece Davis
Not cause he's an Alabammer alumni, but because last time I ate Reese cups I shit out a spectrum of colors, like a rainbow, and every time I hear his name, or see his Eric Cartman looking face, I have to run BACK to the outhouse where I'm usually forced to camp out for two or three days. I puts him here cause he's gots himself and IMDB account, which is film industry related!

8) Jim Nabors:
'Cause this ass-hat plays a character which resides in a town that copies the wonderful city of Aubarn (AL). WE ARE THE ORIGINAL MAYBERRY, DAMMIT!

And there you have it! Just a few examples of who we Barnies should hate in the entertainment industry. Feel free to add your own as part two of four is just around the corner!

A-Day Revyou: AUBARN (AL) WINS!!!!

2010-04-20T15:51:00.000-07:00

AUtards bring their footballs, programs, and laptops in hopes of having Cameron "Walks on Water" Newton autograph them.

Word on the street is autographed Cam Newton laptops are a real steal these day...

The Messiah aka Cam Newton made his Aubarn (AL) playing debut last Saturday at A-Day, living up to the hype and setting a new standard for SEC quarterbacks by overwhelmingly going 3 for 8 on Saturday!

The red carpet was rolled out for Cameron, by his reliable slaves, Coach Gene Cheez-it and Coach Arthur, as he snuck onto the field like a thief in the night, lighting the field up with his super powerful laptop snatching arm, and then returned to his kingdom (the world's first ever quadruple wide on Wire Road), where his driveway is actually paved... IN CEMENT and he has a screened in porch!

After putting on a quarterback clinic by brilliantly piling up the passing attempt numbers, Cam "Jesus" Newton's sheer awesomeness left Coach Cheez-it and Arthur so stunned, it literally sent them into a state of catatonia... which would explain why the clock never stopped running in the second half.

Aubarn (AL) fans came from all over Lee County and Wire Road, SELLING OUT THE LOWER BOWL LEVEL to get a live-action glimpse of the savior himself (and fortunately enough were not advised to park at the hay fields this year).

"My eyes... My eyes... the greatness radiating from every pore in our Master's body has blinded me!" Yeller Feller said.

A fellow resident of Wire Road had this to say: "He's my hero, my rock, and my inspiration. Me and my sheep slash lover, Cootus jumped in the pick-up and drove 25 miles to Columbus, GA just so we could steal us one of them wap-tops. Seeing a wap-top in person was a sight to behold, but seeing savior Cameron is just unexplainable... I brought mine with me cause me wants my new lord to sign it," Richie Dong said.

Sadly enough, Aubarn (AL) fans will have to wait until the Fall before they can see the Messiah perform again, but we're all a patient bunch... after all, we're still waiting on our 1 1/2 national championship and have been patiently waiting since 1957!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

BARNIES OF THE WEEK!!!!!

2010-04-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

And boy to we have lots of 'em... In a sense, this annual event is more highly anticipated than Aubarn (AL) winning an Iron Bowl National Championship -- and that's saying a lot!

Enjoy as you witness the gathering of the finest of Aubarn (AL) Men and Women. Together, we are a family...

via Michael Medallion FOTP

ESPN's Little Brother Network to Televise the State of Alabammer's Little Brother Program...

2010-04-17T15:36:00.001-07:00

Any questions?

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-04-16T17:20:00.001-07:00

It is... Josh Bynes' remarkable statement!

Another clean tackle, courtesy of a Ted Roof coached defensive player!

“I congratulate them on their national championship,” Auburn senior linebacker Josh Bynes said. “But at the same time, if one play goes differently, we could have won the Iron Bowl. Of course, it didn’t go our way, and they beat us. But we know we’re right there.
You look at coach (Nick) Saban’s first year at Alabama, and he didn’t win against us, and now all of a sudden, they’ve won two years against us and you hear all sorts of things like they’re going to own Auburn the next couple of years. I’m telling you … that’s not going to be the case.”
We know for a fact that we’re a better team now than we were the year before, and we’re going to go out there and play at a level 20 times higher than we did before, especially defensively.
It’s going to be a different feel around that game from now on, and with Alabama winning the national championship, it’s going to be even higher expectations. There’s nothing like beating the previous year’s national champion, and there ain’t nothing like winning the Iron Bowl.”

A Bammer fan on another forum summed it up perfectly for us, or as moi calls it, "nailed us on the head":

“Nothing in there about AU's hopes for this season, nothing about where they stand in the SEC or BCS picture, nothing about his personal progress. As usual, it's an article full of quotes on Bama......because that's what their program lives to do, beat Bama. At Alabama, we play 12 games in the regular season, whereas Auburn only plays one. And who might that one be? See the last team on the schedule and hence the reason (one of a million reasons at that) they save their only bye week prior to playing the last game in the regular season.

I literally can't remember, besides the actual Iron Bowl week, the last time that anyone associated with our program has even mentioned Auburn.”

But as Mr. Joshua Bynes said himself, ain't nothing like winning an Iron Bowl national championship and guess what bammers... WE WON SIX STRAIGHT IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS LAST DECADE AND Y'ALL DIDN'T!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

Arby rides bull at last weekend's rodeo!

2010-04-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

What more can thouest say?

IT'S OFFICIAL: Ziemba's Coming Back!

2010-04-12T15:58:00.000-07:00

Lee Ziemba helps block for T. Zachery on his touchdown drive in last season's Iron Bowl National Championship game.

Great news broke out of Wire Road just a few days ago as Lee Ziemba admitted to turning down the NFL in order to give one last go at playing football for Aubarn (AL) University. Sources have confirmed that the trio of Lowder, Dye, and Yeller Feller were not of any influence behind his decision.

Ziemba told reporters: "Uh, the NFL was secretly impressed with my record breaking (false start) numbers and really pretty much, uh, begged me to skip out on my senior season, and, uh, also told me I would be the for sure number 1 draft lock, but, uh, you see, I, uh, really love Lee County and the family atmosphere provided here on Wire Road, so, uh, I just wanted to come back and the NFL said if I didn't enter the draft this year, the probability of me not being eligible for next year's draft was, uh, 99.9% certain. But, uh, I just love everything about Lee County: the cow pastures, trailer parks, and rodeos and I want to spend as much time here as I can. So if anything, I may still be able to sign as a free agent, but I'd rather do that as long as I get to spend one more magical year here in the wonderful county of Lee."

Coach Cheez-it said he, Arthur, and Lee have been working overtime at bringing up those false starts, especially on third downs and they hope he'll be an unstoppable false starting machine when kickoff rolls around.

Turning down millions of dollars and being the number 1 draft pick, just so you can spend one last year in the great Lee County truly makes Lee Ziemba a certified Aubarn (AL) Man!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY AND WAR DAMN ZIEMBA HEY!!!

Aubarn (AL) Hires New Basketball Coach...

2010-03-29T21:28:00.001-07:00

TONY BARBEE BABY!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!!!

Who will be Jeff Lebo's replacement?

2010-03-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Jeff Lebo's reaction to discovering he'll no longer lead the Aubarn (AL) basketball program as head coach.

Some are saying it's Tubby Smith, but the Lee County KKK Chapter in Aubarn (AL) are saying otherwise.

Others are saying it will be Bobby Knight, but sources (Incomprehensible-Man and Bobby from Homewood) are saying it's Nick Saban, because he has exceeded his time limit at The University of Alabammer and he's aching to get out of Tuscalooser, Alabammer.

Whoever it maybe, I know AD Jay Jacobs will make the right decision based on X's and O's and not their overall head coaching record (just see ~~Coach Gene Cheez-it~~ Arthur Gustav Malzahn III, who led Aubarn (AL) to an eight win season, and AUlmost won the Iron Bowl National Championship!!).

My fellow Barnies, understand that there should not be even the slightest shadow of a doubt when it comes to trusting Jay Jacobs! That's the AUbarnie word of the day!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Cam Newton says he's ready to go...

2010-03-19T01:06:00.000-07:00

And the laptop snatching arm is fully functioning...

...it's just too bad he doesn't know laptops haven't been introduced to the County of Lee just yet, but we're working on it!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-03-11T22:17:00.001-08:00

Sources have yet to confirm this, but could this possibly be one half of the producer of the fabulous (and previous BOTW award winner) Lovely Linda?

Smoke ya a nudder 'en, Maw!

Top Ten AU Moments of the Decade: Number 8

2010-03-10T21:26:00.000-08:00

Number 8:

The Rise and Fall of Tommy Tuberneck

The year was 1997: by the time the season's end rolled around, Aubarn (AL) had only ONE conference victory to boast. They ultimately replaced their coach, Tator Tot Bowden (who had resigned earlier on in the season), with the head coach of the only SEC team they managed to beat that year: Tommy Tuberneck.

The Tuberneck campaign started off a little on the rocky side, however, things were soon to change as his primary competition was soon to undergo half a dozen coaching changes in nearly five years with severe NCAA sanctions to atop that... which ultimately led to this:

Things were flowing smoothly on the plains, with not even the nearest roadblock in sight until... the handcuffs were removed from around Alabama's wrists and they managed to hit a grandslam by hiring Nick Saban, which ultimately led to the demise of Tubby's Aubarn (AL) head coaching career.

The Aubarn (AL) Recruiting Method... Part Two!!!

2010-03-08T00:11:00.000-08:00

Read Part One Here!

Dakota Mosley, seen in the pic below, is sporting those one hundred dolla billz yo, which was donated to him immediately after signing with The University of Aubarn (AL)!

Who on Earth could this proud donor be? Wonder if he owns his very own stealth jet, which got him from Opelika, to Miami, and then to Arkansas?

COUGH COUGH Just give 'em COUGH COUGH what they want! COUGH COUGH!
-Pat Dye

See Alabammer lurkers, Jesus loves us Barnies too!

2010-03-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

HAHAAHAA ALABAMMER HE LOVES US MORE THAN HE LOVES YAL'L!!!1 HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-02-27T14:47:00.000-08:00

It is considering your recruiting class a success based on being ranked ahead of one particular team (instead of basing it on being ranked in the top 5).

Image Courtesy of The War Eagle Reader

The Aubarn (AL) Recruiting Method...

2010-02-26T12:32:00.001-08:00

So exactly how does a three year head coach with an overall losing record, an offensive coordinator not even five years out of high school, and a legendary defensive mastermind defensive coordinator out-recruit the SEC coaching veterans and suddenly change the minds (and commitments) of cross-state rival commits such as Spencer Region and Craig Sanders? It's simple: The Pat Dye/Slug Jordan method...

See Aubarn (AL) commit, Corey Lemonier's photos below:

guns...

more guns...

...and a brand new Corvette of which he received immediately after signing to play football with (and I quote Corey himself) "The University of Aubarn."

COUGH COUGH Just give 'em COUGH COUGH what they want! COUGH COUGH!
-Pat Dye

The future is bright! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

Updates Coming Soon...

2010-02-24T13:55:00.001-08:00

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

2010-01-18T01:05:00.001-08:00

Want to know what earned him this week's most prestigious AUbarnie award? I'm still deciding on which tail it was, the rat tail or the tiger tail? Maybe even the gorgeous Faded Glory camo pants... this guy's just suiting up for battle!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Top Ten AU Moments of the Decade: Number 9

2010-01-18T00:58:00.000-08:00

Number 9:
Sociology

Aubarn (AL)'s Inferiority Complex Level Chart

2010-01-12T13:58:00.000-08:00

This was released today by the Aubarn (AL)/Opeliker Newz...

Charles From Reeltown on Alabama Winning the BCS National Championship!

2010-01-12T13:40:00.000-08:00

This true Aubarn (AL) Man™ spirit deserves him a share of this week's Barnie of the Week Award!

Charles From Reeltown on Alabama Winning the 2010 National Championship from AUbarnie on Vimeo.

You really can't get any bettur than this!!

You a braggin' Alabam mowran.

You a idiot stupid ignorant, loud mouth, fancy dan, stupid ignorant mowran.

You a low down, sorry flea bitten dog.

You a possum eatin' skunk.

You are TERRIBLE... you a jackass!

You cross-dressin', panty wearin'... sniffin... sniff... sniff... panty wearing mowran.

The Moral Victory National Championship Playoffs Begin...

2010-01-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

BARNIE OF THE WEEK -- DOUBLE FEATURE PART 2!!!

2010-01-10T15:36:00.000-08:00

I-Man Clause, eat your heart out!!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK -- DOUBLE FEATURE PART 1!!!

2010-01-10T15:30:00.000-08:00

PaulBryantFaggot of YouTube earns his second Barnie of the Year Award in less than six months!!!

And yet again displays the class that all true Aubarn (AL) men are required to display!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!!

Tommy Tuberneck hired at Texas Tech...

2010-01-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

Him goes from one Tech school to another!

His success depends on whether or not Texas is sure to lose myriad scholarships over a five year period and undergoes coaching changes every other season.

WAR DAMN TEXAS TECH EAGLE HEY!!!

The Eight Epic Fail Prophecies of Barniedamus...

2010-01-08T18:02:00.000-08:00

Barniedamus (left) sets, pondering on his ninth prophecy to the people of Lee County.

From Crapstonereport.

1. January 2007, Bama hires Nick Saban. After a rough first season, finishing 7-6…ironically potentially the same record Auburn will likely finish with this season yet they call 2009 a “success”…Saban racks up back-to-back undefeated (regular) seasons, equaling Chiznip’s win total in only one of those two seasons.

2. December 4, 2008, Bama loses a heartbreaker to Florida in the 2008 SEC Championship Game, then lays an egg against Utah in an embarrassing Sugar Bowl loss. Surely the making of a program’s fall, right? Nope. Bama responds with an encore that includes 12 more regular season wins and takes the West again.

3. November 27, 2009, Auburn plays its best possible game, employing new formations, trick plays and strategy unseen prior to its clash with the undefeated, highly ranked and Western Division ChampsÂ Crimson Tide. They jump out to a quick 14-0 lead. But methodically, Bama comes back. Finally, holding to a one point edge, Abarn sees Greg McElroy methodically eat the fourth quarter clock, driving Bama into field goal range for the go ahead kick…subsequently leaving the door open forÂ Tigger victory, something Bama has been accustomed to doing for years.Â But this Bama team is engineered by a coach who knows how to deliver a knock-out blow in enemy territory, calling timeout and trumping a run to ensure a touchdown. Then you watchÂ the coach who you’ve convinced yourself is the answer waste 1:13, wandering around in his own confusion while doing his best Les Miles impression. Hard to sleep that night, I’m sure.

4. December 5, 2009. If Auburn couldn’t take Bama down, surely they could sit back and enjoy the Gators finishing the job. Nope. Alabama systematically dismantles the Tim Tebow machine. Bama strikes a 13-0 season on its way to the National Championship game in the Rose Bowl, a storied stadium rich in the tradition of Alabama football. Another tough night to sleep if you’re wearing Aubie pajamas.

5. December 10, 2009. “If the Notre Dame job ever comes open, Saban is gone.” Those words danced in the hearts of every barner out there. Along with phrases like “Saban is a nomad…he’ll never stay anywhere long.” Notre Dame is the ultimate job…and he’s Catholic…oh yea, he’ll go if Weis ever gets canned. Well, Weis gets canned, Kelley gets hired, and Saban stays put,Â with plans to dominateÂ college football from home base, right here in Tuscaloosa.Â This must wake you up at night if you’re “fearless and true.”

6. December 12, 2009. But, if Auburn couldn’t beat Bama, at least they could dash their Heisman Trophy hopes. Holding Ingram in check in the Iron Bowl would surely steal Bama’s thunder in the race for sports’ most prestigious individual award. Nope. Mark Ingram becomes the first Alabama player to win the Heisman, and Aubies everywhere have to watch Pat Sullivan shake hands with his new fraternity brother. That picture will burn in a memory for a lifetime.

7. December 13, 2009 The hardest realization. As a barner, you’re inferior, but you’re not stupid. You’ve watched good football all your life, primarily because the University of Alabama shares the state with you, but you’ve even had a few flash-in-the-pan good seasons of your own at the expense of Alabama's downfall. Though attempts for self-brainwashing are somewhat successful, something eats at your conscience that you’re doing yourself a disservice. And no matter how hard you want to convince yourself that Mr. 12-24, Gene Chiznip can compete with three-time SEC Champion and soon to be two-time National Champion, Nick Saban, who now can now boast recruiting/producing a Heisman Trophy winner, you know Chiznip can’t. You know that “AUlmost” is as close as you can hope for. You know 7-5, 8-4 or MAYBE 9-3 (if the NCAA lets you schedule Furman twice) and a Florida bowl are about as good as you’ll do with Chiznip, while your big brother continues to play big boy football and shelve the hardware. But really, that’s not all that different than what you’ve experienced all your life. It’s an Auburn tradition. And doggone it, be proud of it.

8. January 7, 2010...And finally, Aubarn fans proclaimed even Saban couldn't revive this dead program. The game had passed us by and we will never field a championship team, ever again. Our time was over and there was NO WAY we'd ever be 1/4 of what we were during our most glorious years... On this night, Alabama, led by Nick Saban, once again silenced the Barnies wishful cries of "it won't happen" as he and his team defeated the Texas Longhorns, winning the BCS National Championship...

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-01-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

It is ITA(AL)T...

Currently, out of 22 topics on the main page forum, 19 are Alabama topics...

SI article on why bama's title deserves an asterisk...
UATer told my 6yr old son his dad was a loser this morning

New Facebook status

OMG after a rough night this story makes my day...

New facebook status

Even they knew this one is tainted

Could Jerry Jones come after Saban?

Classless Saban running up the score after a secure win.

38 quarters without holding..

Now that the cheaters have shot their wad.

Why is Mark Ingrams dad some kind of hero

BCS Trophy To Be Displayed in t-town Walmart.....Saturday...arrive early...

All American Tiffin misses extra point = funny**

bammers cheated again

The hit on McCoy was illegal

Some USC fans dropping Sabans name as replacement coach if PC leaves

All in All I would rather be an 8-5 AUBURN Man than a Bammer

Ingram is a theif just like his daddy

Bama still sucks

AND...

The Corner of Wire Road and Slug!

Currently, out of 17 posts, 10 are Alabama topics...

Tebow 1: 1-2

WRAS picks the SEC Championship Game

Bammer of the week

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What is SPUAT's deal with hats?

Got Asterisk?

McElroy digs deep and pulls out SPUAT's 8th* National Championship

Where else would it go?

Bammer of the week

ESPN polls regarding BCSMNC game

BARNIES OF THE YEAR!!!!!

2010-01-07T00:29:00.000-08:00

The most prestigious AUbarnie award aka the Barnie of the year award goes to none other than........................

THE ALABAMMER DESECRATORZ!!!

All of us here at the AUbarnie wish to congratulate these guys on winning such an honorable award. Keep up the good work, Barnies!

To see the post mash here

And be sure to check out ALL of the most freaking awesome Barnies who won the weekly award throughout the year by clicking here.

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

More proof that Alabammer's 12 are fake...

2010-01-06T14:57:00.000-08:00

Bammer ain't got 12 so we gots more!!! GOT 1/2???

The Governor of Lee County has declared Thursday a special day...

2010-01-06T14:48:00.000-08:00

Newly appointed governors of Lee County, Jed (left) and his lover Curtis (right) have a retaliation in mind for the Bammer-biased Governor Bob Riley after he proclaimed today to be "Mark Ingram Day", our two new governors have declared tomorrow to be...

"ENVY ALABAMMER DAY!!!"

That's right! As the front of Governor Jed's shirt says, "Come on down (to Lee County)" while the back reads, "and celebrate envy Alabammer day!"

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

Barnie of the week!!!

2010-01-06T14:30:00.000-08:00

The trailer park on wheels owner!!

This 100% pure Aubarn (AL) Man™ is the owner of the first ever trailer on wheels (and it's all Aubarn (AL) all orange) of which he flaunts proudly up and down the streets of Wire Road here in lovely Lee County.

This is state of the art and at the top of it's class. No trailer can hang with this beast! This bad boy is a monument here in Aubarn (AL), only falling third behind our Burger King and McDonald's!

Owning a trailer as awesome as this one can even get you laid by some of the more high-class barnies (those who live in double-wides) here in Aubarn (AL), as seen above.

GREAT TO BE AN AUBARN (AL) TIGGER!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

What is little man's syndrome?

2010-01-05T15:37:00.001-08:00

No explanation needed!

I(ncomprehensible)-Man-Clause Speaks Out on the Bowl Season

2009-12-23T21:51:00.000-08:00

I-Man Clause: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka the only undefeated Finebaum caller aka the only Santa Clause with black chest hair.

HO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM AND A BOTTLE OF RUM HO HO HO!!! HERE I AM LIIIIIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE NORTH POLE CONFEDERACY: I-MAN CLAUSE MY LITTLE ELF-LETTES!!!

YA KNOW, ALABAMMER CHEATED TO BEAT FLORIDA. THE REC PUT THEM IN PLACE TO BEAT FLORIDER, SETTING THEM UP ON THE GRANDEST STAGE AGAINST TEXAS (SOURCES HAVE ALREADY CONFIRMED IT). HOWEVER, TEXAS AIN'T NO UTAH... THEY'RE BETTER!! WAY BETTER IN FACT. IN FACT, TEXAS IS GONNA BEAT ALABAMMER SO BADLY, THOSE RENTED MULES WE GOTS THAT WE BEATS DOWN HERE IN COW TOWN WILL SEEM LIKE A MINI VACATION AT THE OPELIKA INN!!

SOURCES HAVE ALREADY CONFIRMED THE OFFICIALS IN THE GAME DECLINES THE REC'S CHANCES OF PAYING THEM TO LET ALABAMMER WIN, SO IT'S GONNA BE OOOOOONNNNN AND TEXAS IS GONNA DO TO ALABAMMER WHAT AUBARN (AL) WAS GONNA DO TO ALABAMMER BEFORE THE REC STEPPED IN (AND EVEN THOUGH THEY CHEATED, THEY STILL DIDN'T BLOW US OUT).

I FEEL AWFULLY BAD FOR ALABAMMER AT THIS TIME OF YEAR. TEXAS IS TEN STEPS BETTER THAN UTAH AND TEXAS IS GOING TO WHIP BAMMER THE WAY I WHIP THAT BOTTLE OF JACK EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!!

WELL, IT'S TIME TO GET BACK TO MY REINDEERS CAUSE THEY ACTING A FOOL Y'ALL.

UNTIL NEXT YEAR, I-MAN CLAUSE OUT!!

YOU CAN CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK EVERY MONDAY-FRIDAY!

Top Ten AU Moments of the Decade: Number 10

2009-12-21T14:05:00.000-08:00

To honor the soon-to-be gone decade, which was filled with variety of sorts for Aubarn (AL), I'm putting together ten of the most glorious and notable moments of the decade (in no particular order) for Aubarn (AL). Hope y'all enjoy!!!

NUMBER 10:

JETGATE!!!

In a time, far, far ago, there existed two men: Tommy Tuberneck and Bob Peterno... and three other men: David Housel, William Walker Jr., and Bob Lowder... and of course, a beastly jet!

Combine this all together and you have jetgate!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

Alabammer wins their first Heisman National Championship....

2009-12-14T13:09:00.001-08:00

BUT WE STILL HAVE TWO HEISMAN NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPZ!!!!!

GOT TWO???

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!!

Aubarn (AL)'s 2009 team slogan...

2009-12-06T19:56:00.000-08:00

FIRST IT WAS AUDACITY...

THEN IT WAS ATTITUDE...

NOW IT'S....

We Barnies feel your pain, Tebow.

2009-12-06T19:49:00.000-08:00

It sucks losing National Championship games to Alabammer... we know! In fact, 3/4's of the AUtard nation don't even know what bowl we're playing in, but we damn sure know which one Alabammerz in!!

GOT SIX???

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

What is little man's syndrome?

2009-12-06T19:37:00.001-08:00

It is celebrating your greatest victory tradition over a completely different team's victory.

See date and time (after the Alabama/Florida game of 2008).

Aubarn (AL) receives invite to the Outback Bowl...

2009-12-02T12:27:00.003-08:00

...and that's ironic considering we've got thousands of Aubarn (AL) grads working at Outback's all 'cross the country!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

What is little man's syndrome?

2009-12-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

Out of 12 games, it is scheduling your only bye week the week before the last game of the season.

New acronym?

2009-12-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

Credit this to DennyChimes over at RollBamaRoll.com

Curious to know what AUBIE stands for?

Always
Under
Bama
In
Envy

IBNC Revyou: AUBARN (AL) WINS IRON BOWL (MORAL VICTORY) NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!

2009-12-01T13:10:00.000-08:00

Coach Nick $atan congratulates Coach Gene Cheez-it on the Iron Bowl National Championship Moral Victory, Friday!

AUBARN (AL)'S BACK!!!!

And better than ever!!! Last Friday, Aubarn (AL) won their first ever Iron Bowl moral victory national championship of the decade and it couldn't have come at a better time as Always Under Bama In Envy won 21-26 against the almighty Nick $atan led Alabammer Tide.

Alabammer wanted that moral victory so bad...

But like my mommer always told me, "ya can't have everything you want!"

Mike Shuler, winner of four Iron Bowl National Championship Moral Victories.

Mike Shula dedicated today's trophy to his worthy Moral Victory successor, Gene Cheez-it. Mike Shula was the previous owner of three Iron Bowl National Championship moral victory trophies (2003: 23-28, 2004: 13-21, and 2006: 15-22), but that Alabammer reign came to an end on Friday.

Even Nick $atan wanted the trophy in 2007 (17-10), but he hadn't quite established himself as a worthy head coach the way Cheez-it and Shuler had.

G-Mac tells C-Todd, "Don't be unhappy, moral victories are better than an actual victory to these losers!"

I'll have more coming throughout the week...

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY AND WAR DAMN IRON BOWL MORAL VICTORY NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP HEY!!!

Iron Bowl National Championship Prediction Time!!!

2009-11-25T12:46:00.001-08:00

Courtesy of the finest Aubarn (AL) Men and Women....

I(ncomprehensible)-Man

HEY... HEY... HEY... IT'S ME! I-MAN DOGZ COMING AT YOU LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY!!!! THE BAMMERZ ARE GONNA GET BEATEN SO BAD, THEY'LL BE BEGGING THE NCAA TO GO AHEAD AND LEND THEM AN EARLY DEATH PENALTY AND $ATAN WILL BE HEADED FOR NOTRE DAME!!! I'LL HAVE MY POST-IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
THOUGHTS IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE GAME!!!

Lovely Linda

Awbarn will win 970-(-940) and Tommy Tuberville will hit two grandslams and
Jason Campbell will hit for the cycle. I also predict coach Mike Franchione to
strike out at least twice at bat... by the way any of y'all got any spare change
you'd like to contribute to my ~~meth~~ out of gas fund?

Marlboro Man

Should be another classic Iron Bowl COUGH COUGH national championship match, but I predict COUGH COUGH Awwwbar, Alabamur to pull it off in the COUGH COUGH end.

Charles From Reeltown

I'm gone be at the Iron Bowl National Championship and you'd best believe I'm
gone give every Alabammer fan there a country boy ass whippin' from hell like
they've never seen before. That damn yankee John From Huntsville's... I gots a
little sumthin for him too! I'm gone whoop y'all worse than Aubarn, Alabammer's
gonna do your weakling little Alabammer football team so you know it's gonna be
bad. Aubarn, Alabammer will win the Iron Bowl National Championship then because we beat y'all as bad as we do it automatically advances us into the BCS National Championship game to play and beat the cow dust out of Texas. WAR EAGLE!!!

Dale... ME!!!

My predictions are gonna be a little more rationale... I predict Mark
Ingram to have negative rushing yardage because this is the best defense he'll
face all year. I also predict Ben Tate, the best back in the state of
~~Maryland~~ Alabammer to have more rushing yards than
Alabammer's offense does as a whole. I also predict Alabammer's defence to
surrender over 900+ yards to Aubarn (AL)'s high powered offense as Alabammer's
defense just ain't that good. Final prediction: UA 0 - A(AL)U 78 (we put our
third string in midway through the first quarter).

How 'bout a few more predictions courtesy of our very own Bammer Desecrators?

What is little man's syndrome?

2009-11-25T12:37:00.000-08:00

It is Ben Tate's remarkable quote...

"I know I'm the best back in the state," Tate said. "I bet if you went and broke down film and asked teams in the SEC who is the best back in the state, I mean I feel like it's me."

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

2009-11-24T14:20:00.000-08:00

THE BARNIE KLANSMEN!!!

Is it just me, or is the Barnie KKK nation literally taking over the south?

We were more than happy to help our fellow Hotty Toddy brethren this past Saturday in support of the south will rise again campaign!! It's just another Aubarn (AL) tradition!!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

What is little man's syndrome?

2009-11-19T17:58:00.000-08:00

It is David Housel's remarkable speech...

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

GEORGIAR REVIEW: Richt continues the tradition!

2009-11-19T17:36:00.000-08:00

The Dawgs put Aubarn (AL) in the dawg house!

...But in other news, Coach Gene Cheez-it has done it again! He said his real goal of the season was to win the co-co-co-SEC Western Division Championship AND HE DONE IT!!!! Like last week (and the week before that), he said he was just kidding about the homecoming national championship...

HAHAHAHAHA ALABAMMER!! WE ARE THE CO-CO-CO-SEC WESTERN DIVISION CHAMPIONS AND YALL'L AREN'T!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Up next it's Aubarn (AL) vs. Bye University... I can assure yal'l we won't lose next Saturday as Coach Cheez-it promises to have our team ready for a HUGE victory!!

Got Cheez-it? WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

Heisman Candidates Don't Cry!!!

2009-11-19T17:30:00.000-08:00

Especially if you're the best back in the state....... of Maryland!

Hell... it seems crying is starting to become a new tradition around these parts!

10 Facts You May or May Not Know About Alabammer's Red Elurphant Club

2009-11-18T22:06:00.000-08:00

These facts are brought to you by Aubarn (AL)'s number 1 source(s): I(ncomprehensible)-Man, Charles From Reeltown and Bobby From Homewood, Alabammer.

10) The REC was behind the September 11th attacks.

9) The REC was behind the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal.

8) The REC was behind JFK's assassination.

7) The REC was the other man who got your wife pregnant.

6) The REC motivated Mark Mangino to verbally assault his players during practices.

5) The REC paid Coach Gene Cheez-it to purposely lose four games this year.

4) The REC was behind Bill Belichick's decision to go for two.

3) The REC is behind our country's recession.

2) The REC was behind James "Bond" Willis' decision to serve as an inside man for Aubarn (AL) at Alabammer... wait a minute...

1) The REC was behind the funding of this site, because they didn't want the mainstream sites such as Track 'Em Tiggers, The Aubarner, ITA(AL)T to be your number 1 source for all Barnie info!

BONUS: The REC is the reason so many Barnie students were evicted from their trailer parks and are now homeless, roaming the dilapidated streets of Aubarn (AL), and also lost their internships at McDonald's.

Cheez-it and company take the heart of Lee County to Athens!

2009-11-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

Some are saying this is a mental regrouping method (thought of by Coach Cheez-it of course) to keep his players focused on their performances in the game...

...and it's like shit I tell ya!

...however, they left the bad parts behind (the tent), and took the good parts with 'em (the human waste) back to Lee County!

I didn't know the Iron Bowl National Championship was being played played in Tuscalooser this year?!?!?!?!?!

2009-11-17T12:59:00.000-08:00

This has the makings of something illegal written all over it.

I shall be forwarding this image to I(ncomprehensible)-Man and Bobby from Homewood, Alabama to turn into the NCAA. Something is not right and I smell something fishy (pun intended)...

The penalty for this is death and my gut instinct tells me the hammer will be brought down JUST BEFORE Aubarn (AL) burns down the barn on them! Alabammer had better pray the death penalty does happen because it's not gonna be 1/4 as bad as what Aubarn (AL)'s gonna do to them in the Iron Bowl National Championship!!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

FURMAN REVIEW: GENE CHEEZ-IT WINS HOMECOMING NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!

2009-11-14T20:26:00.000-08:00

I'd like to apologize for the late post. If you're that upset about it so sue me -- it ain't like you'll get much out of this $6.50 an hour job (at the Wire Road Truck Stop) of mine anyway.

Upon his arrival in Lee County, coach Gene Cheez-it and Jay Jacobs discuss the ultimate goal of the upcoming season: win the Homecoming National Championship game.

Coach Gene Cheez-it, again known for his right-field pranks, pulls another one on Opelika! He said he was just kidding about winning the SEC Championship, and our real goal of the 2009 season was to win the 2009 Homecoming National Championship game! And guess what? WE DID!!!!! WE ARE THE 2009 HOMECOMING CHAMPIONS!!! Powerhouse Furman was absolutely NO MATCH for the War Eagles of Aubarn (AL)!!!

Next week we've got the Dawgs... they'd better be glad they ain't playing us in the jungle, cause we've got a whole lot of pent up ~~water~~ frustration we're ready to unleash on them like water pressure building in a water hose (pun intended).

And...

HAHAHAHA ALABAMMER, WE'RE ON ESPN 2 AND Y'ALL ARE ON ESPN!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK -- DOUBLE FEATURE!!!

2009-11-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

HALLOWEEN BARNIES PART 2!!!

"Auburn (AL) football team continues A(AL)U tradition of tasteful Halloween attire"

(source)

It's just another great Aubarn (AL) tradition and it ranks up there with the all-time greatest Aubarn (AL) Halloween traditions!

But ex-quarterback Brandon Cocks was the party pooper...

...said he didn't feel like dressing up for Halloween this year, but he still showed up to the party in a Barnies' everyday attire!

And secondly....

PAULBRYANTFAGGOT OF YOUTUBE and MRRUBBERBANDMAN12!

Watch as Barnie class at it's finest is demonstrated!

This video alone is enough to earn these Barnies the coveted "Barnie of the Year"

Award (coming NEXT MONTH!)

And their amazingly brilliant posts:

"HEY BAMANATION TERD SWALLOW A FAT LOAD OF CUM TILL YOU CHOKE BITCH!!! GET THE FUCK OFF THIS MAN CHANNEL PUSSY."

"REDWOLF YOU QUEER YOUR LET ME CATCH YOUR FATASS OUT YOU PUNK BITCH I'LL WHIP YOUR ASS BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FAT ASS TERD FUCK THE ALABAMA CRIMSON TAMPON RAGS THEY'RE ALL DOUCHEBAG'S AND CHILMOLESTER'S .

S AND CHILD MOLESTER'S"

"AND why you're mother didn't plug your pussy hole up is beyond me whore."

"Fuck you dick sucker you lying piece of pantie's waste you got your ass handed to you in Miami you canot coach in the pro's your a loser of a duchebag it takes a real skilled coach to coach the pro's and you sir or no it your pathetic."

"Sir if you would kindly give me an address i will come to your house and kick your brains in and then you can become a retard like the rest of the alabama nation pussy then i will tie you up and you can watch me shove my dick in your mother's mouth which the worthless slut bag cum guzzling whore that she is will absolutely love till her two front teeth fall out and i fill her mouth up with my cum and make the nasty slutbag blow cum bubble's for me then i'll cut your fucking throat fuck the alawhammy douchebag's crimson tampon rags."

And they even graced me with their awesomeness by posting a comment on my youtube account:

"Hey fag your whole family is a piece of shit and your proably a chid molester like the rest of the alabama trash you fat fucking retard let me know your address pussy you aint crazy i'll beat your brains in then tie you up and make you watch me fuck your wife untill then fuck your fat ass team the alabam crimson tampon rags later crack head."

IT'S GREAT TO BE AN AUBARN (AL) TIGGER! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

Old Misses Review: The Rebelz got nutted on...

2009-11-02T16:36:00.000-08:00

...by Cheez-nuts and Aubarn (AL)!!

SPLAT!!!!!

AUBARN (AL)'S BACK IN BUSINESS BITCHES!!!

Coach Cheez-it said his main goal upon his arrival in the lovely Lee County was to beat Coach Tubby's former team, Ole Misses, to show that even he could beat Ole Misses in his first year at Aubarn (AL). He said the last three weeks were simply a trap to set Ole Misses up.... and it worked perfectly!

COACH CHEEZ-IT'S A GENIUS!

Next up on the docket is Furman, a prime-time opponent which will serve as a tough task for Lord Cheez-it (because they're so bad-ass we decided to play them instead of UCLA), but never fear we will prevail and I assure each and every Barnie in Lee County that we will dominate the perennial powerhouse known as Furman convincingly!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

Happy Halloween from the AUbarnie!

2009-10-31T12:16:00.000-07:00

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

"Monster Mash" music video starring: Dale (moi), I-Man, Otis Franklin, Charles from Reeltown, and Coach Gene Cheez-it!!

Panic time for Barnies? NOT JUST YET...

2009-10-30T22:08:00.001-07:00

WE CAN SURVIVE A WEEK WITHOUT ALABAMMER FOOTBALL!!!

Alabammer may have a bye week, but there's still hope and here's why....

Folks, I know Opelika is in a severe state of panic right now due to the fact that Alabammer's not playing tomorrow, and we as Barnies can't go a second without us some Alabammer, specially on Saturdays, but not all hope is lost...

Tomorrow, Aubarn (AL) is playing Ole Misses for those of you who didn't know. Now I know it's not Alabammer, but it's fourth-best at the max!!

Sure, maybe we can't hope and pray all day long prior to kick-off that Alabammer's opponent will defeat them, nor can we disect the game pointing out that the refs are on Bammer's side, nor can we point out how many times $atan drops the F-bomb on the sideline, nor can we ~~fantasize all day long about wishing we could be them for a day~~ laugh cause Bammer ain't us, but even we need to rest up on the Alabammer obsession every now and again...

And look on the bright side, Alabammer is playing LSYOU next weekend so they'll be back and we can focus back on them, and put Aubarn (AL) behind us!

So there ain't no need to panic... Alabammer will be back soon enough!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

BARNIES OF THE WEEK.... HALLOWEEN EDITION!!!!

2009-10-28T18:34:00.000-07:00

To honor the great Barnie Halloween tradition, and seeing how we're less than a week away from Halloween, this week's Barnie of the Week award goes to...

THE FRATERNITY KLANSMEN OF AUBARN (AL)!!

Aubarn (AL) is prominently known for it's virulent racism, and we as Barnies take pride in that -- hence being known as "the last college in America to still have a plantation mentality". Whether it's denying coaches the job who are of any other color than white (trash), denying bar entry to those who are of any other color than white (trash), or treating those who are of any other color than white (trash) like pieces of meat, we as Barnies can take pride in being ranked number 1 in yet another category!! HAHAHAHAHA BAMMERS, YOU HEAR THAT??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

LSYOU Fans got it right...

2009-10-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

...'cause we're proud to be Alabammer rejects!

WAR DAMN ALABAMMER REJECTS HEY!

BREAKING NEWS: Inside The Aubarn (AL) TIgerz Reports Bammer IS behind the Aubarn (AL) referee conspiracy!!!

2009-10-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

Source (must have a Scout.com account to view)

Looks like I(ncomprehensible)-Man was right!

Folks, what you about to read is the truth. We're talking UFO, Bigfoot, and Aubarn (AL) winning the national championship in '09 truth!!! Enjoy...

"The zebras have hammered Auburn for three straight games, and while many calls were earned, just as many were bogus--and much more destructive than the earned ones. That is unprecedented in all my years of watching SEC football. The very fact that the SEC office all but admitted corruption by saying the "call wasn't there" last week in the Ark -FL game (and then suspending the refs), convinces me of the obvious--the problem is conference-wide, if not NCAA-wide. In this day and age of hard times and economic insecurity, there are many obvious motives to tamper with the games. The most hard to believe motive, however, sould be that in our case the Red Elephants DO NOT WANT AU to succeed with what might be an incredible recruiting class. Call me whatever you want. I don't give a damm, but I've never seen such purposeful calls AGAINST a specific team, and would say so if the target were Alabama or Tennessee. And while you are riding your high horse and shouting "bl;ack helicopters," stop for just a moment to explain to me why this has been going on the past three weeks. One thing's for sure, no matter how you do it, put early legal pressure on a team and in a game of talented athletes critical plays, and you can orchestrate outcome. It' ain't, as they say, rocket science.Alabama may well be the only program in the country that would go so far, but when you have them on retainer, they might as well earn their $$ when you aren't playing. Again, I don't give a rat's rear end what anybody thinks, but this is new ground even for SEC refs. -Mrkgreen"

"So what will happen with #2??

We can overcome #1, but unless there is some investigation not #2. -AUdreamer"

"There has never been any thing that resembles what passes for SEC officiating. While I have zero proof, I cannot help believe my own eyes. Cheating is the word that applies. The University of Alabama (the corruption goes all the way to the top) will do anything to win and to damage Auburn. They are a mafia type organization, and they have people in high places who are mafia connected. I've said it before and I will say it again, if they will pay $200,000 for a fat defensive lineman from Memphis, who else will they pay? There are also other ways to affect people's actions other than bribes. Pressure can be brought in many ways. The SEC will do nothing. If the NCAA doesn't act, nothing will change. -CaptainWonderful"

"Penny wise and dollar foolish. Perhaps. They may kill the golden goose yet. But unless the fan base turns its nose to pre-determined outcomes, you are right. People love their fantasies. -Mrkgreen"

"I would happily donate $10K towards private investigators if something really came of it - I kid you not. And I can afford it. -AUdreamer"

"Although I've disagreed with some of your positions in the past, we are in total agreement on point #2. Many of our fans, particularly the younger ones, have no idea the lengths bama will go to to not only insure the success of their program, but the failure of ours -BigAquila"

"I really, really hate to admit this, Mark, but I have felt the same way about #2. alabama was having a GREAT first half of the season, and the story (at least where I am) was Auburn, Chizik, Trooper Towels, get on the Gus Bus, etc. There was big time momentum in recruiting. Big Cat weekend, Tiger Prowl, etc. didn't "scare" anybody, but it sent a message that this staff came to play - and they have. One alabama HS coach (who is also an alabama fan) was quoted as saying he had not seen much of AU coaches in the last couple years, "but Luper and Trooper are EVERYWHERE!" (he didn't use those names exactly, they are under bama's skin so bad that they have 'earned' nicknames, but that is who he was talking about).

They had to find a way to help stop it. To kill the momentum.

Knowing how they operate, I believe they decided after the AU-West Virginia game that enough was enough, and the wheels were turning. Don't forget, these officials do have regular jobs. This is not their primary job.

I am telling you they want to BURY us off the field and leave nothing to chance. For some reason - even with a rock star head coach - they are not satisfied with good old 'mano y mano' competition on and off the field. Despite perception, Auburn has more than held its own when all things were 'equal'. They want to leave nothing to chance. - TIGRRR"

"Point #2 isdead on!!! I have never seen so many zebra flags against AU that were flat out fraud.

Notice every single time UT crossed the bammer 30; there was a flag? -theagent39"

"The first thing I said was that I have zero proof. Secondly it would be very difficult to prove. Cash handled properly does not leave a paper trail, and their are other ways of motivating, including threats and blackmail. I am not just talking about Auburn playing poorly either. Did you see the Florida - Arkansas game? I cannot go out and investigate. I have neither the means or the knowhow. Neither am I Sherlock Holmes, Thomas Magnum, or Jim Rockford. Believe what you want, but open your eyes and observe. -CaptainWonderful"

"... the truth is that there were at least 5 or 6 KEY penalties that were called against us OR not called against LSU that were the difference between a close game and a 21-point loss. The craziest thing I saw was early in the game they called our DB for "unneccessary roughness". OK fine, so I guess the refs are being overly protective of the players. But later in the 2nd quarter an LSU DB not only led with his helmet, he hit Blake helmet-to-helmet... but no call???? And that was just one no-call/bad call out of at least 5 or 6 others. It boggles the mind. Had the refs not blown so many calls, I think the chances are great that the score would have been tied 7-7 at halftime. No doubt we would have played better had we been tied rather than being down 17-0. -FrostyMuggs"

"I agree with everything stated in the original post. -AUTE91"

"This is hardlly just about Auburn. An undefeated bama vs an underfeated Florida in the SEC championship game will produce huge dollars. It's really pretty simple. -CaptainWonderful"

"yes our team is bad, but if anyone thinks bammer would not do what Mark Green and other people suggested with the refs, then you are living in a bubble. Bammer is the most corrupt program ever. They declared war on Auburn after the 6 in a row. They will do whatever it takes. -autiger288"

"I try not to get to caught up in conspiracy theories and all that with refs and their bad calls, but for whatever reason they sure have stunk something terrible the last few games, all AU loses. -bcox4life"

ITA(AL)T does have a point! It was the officiating that cost us the nail-biter Saturday night... and why? Eight simple letters: BAMMER!

Sources Bobby From Homewood, Alabammer and I(ncomprehensible)-Man are reporting Alabama will be receiving a PLOI in three weeks and they will receive the death penalty plus all of their male fans will be castrated for this!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY AND WAR DAMN DEATH PENALTY HEY!