Cheez-it and company take the heart of Lee County to Athens!

Some are saying this is a mental regrouping method (thought of by Coach Cheez-it of course) to keep his players focused on their performances in the game...


...and it's like shit I tell ya!

...however, they left the bad parts behind (the tent), and took the good parts with 'em (the human waste) back to Lee County!

I didn't know the Iron Bowl National Championship was being played played in Tuscalooser this year?!?!?!?!?!

This has the makings of something illegal written all over it.

I shall be forwarding this image to I(ncomprehensible)-Man and Bobby from Homewood, Alabama to turn into the NCAA. Something is not right and I smell something fishy (pun intended)...

The penalty for this is death and my gut instinct tells me the hammer will be brought down JUST BEFORE Aubarn (AL) burns down the barn on them! Alabammer had better pray the death penalty does happen because it's not gonna be 1/4 as bad as what Aubarn (AL)'s gonna do to them in the Iron Bowl National Championship!!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

FURMAN REVIEW: GENE CHEEZ-IT WINS HOMECOMING NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!

I'd like to apologize for the late post. If you're that upset about it so sue me -- it ain't like you'll get much out of this $6.50 an hour job (at the Wire Road Truck Stop) of mine anyway.

Upon his arrival in Lee County, coach Gene Cheez-it and Jay Jacobs discuss the ultimate goal of the upcoming season: win the Homecoming National Championship game.

Coach Gene Cheez-it, again known for his right-field pranks, pulls another one on Opelika! He said he was just kidding about winning the SEC Championship, and our real goal of the 2009 season was to win the 2009 Homecoming National Championship game! And guess what? WE DID!!!!! WE ARE THE 2009 HOMECOMING CHAMPIONS!!! Powerhouse Furman was absolutely NO MATCH for the War Eagles of Aubarn (AL)!!!

Next week we've got the Dawgs... they'd better be glad they ain't playing us in the jungle, cause we've got a whole lot of pent up water frustration we're ready to unleash on them like water pressure building in a water hose (pun intended).

And...

HAHAHAHA ALABAMMER, WE'RE ON ESPN 2 AND Y'ALL ARE ON ESPN!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK -- DOUBLE FEATURE!!!

HALLOWEEN BARNIES PART 2!!!

"Auburn (AL) football team continues A(AL)U tradition of tasteful Halloween attire"

(source)

It's just another great Aubarn (AL) tradition and it ranks up there with the all-time greatest Aubarn (AL) Halloween traditions!

But ex-quarterback Brandon Cocks was the party pooper...

...said he didn't feel like dressing up for Halloween this year, but he still showed up to the party in a Barnies' everyday attire!

And secondly....

PAULBRYANTFAGGOT OF YOUTUBE and MRRUBBERBANDMAN12!

Watch as Barnie class at it's finest is demonstrated!

This video alone is enough to earn these Barnies the coveted "Barnie of the Year"

Award (coming NEXT MONTH!)

And their amazingly brilliant posts:

"HEY BAMANATION TERD SWALLOW A FAT LOAD OF CUM TILL YOU CHOKE BITCH!!! GET THE FUCK OFF THIS MAN CHANNEL PUSSY."

"REDWOLF YOU QUEER YOUR LET ME CATCH YOUR FATASS OUT YOU PUNK BITCH I'LL WHIP YOUR ASS BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FAT ASS TERD FUCK THE ALABAMA CRIMSON TAMPON RAGS THEY'RE ALL DOUCHEBAG'S AND CHILMOLESTER'S .

S AND CHILD MOLESTER'S"

"AND why you're mother didn't plug your pussy hole up is beyond me whore."

"Fuck you dick sucker you lying piece of pantie's waste you got your ass handed to you in Miami you canot coach in the pro's your a loser of a duchebag it takes a real skilled coach to coach the pro's and you sir or no it your pathetic."

"Sir if you would kindly give me an address i will come to your house and kick your brains in and then you can become a retard like the rest of the alabama nation pussy then i will tie you up and you can watch me shove my dick in your mother's mouth which the worthless slut bag cum guzzling whore that she is will absolutely love till her two front teeth fall out and i fill her mouth up with my cum and make the nasty slutbag blow cum bubble's for me then i'll cut your fucking throat fuck the alawhammy douchebag's crimson tampon rags."

And they even graced me with their awesomeness by posting a comment on my youtube account:

"Hey fag your whole family is a piece of shit and your proably a chid molester like the rest of the alabama trash you fat fucking retard let me know your address pussy you aint crazy i'll beat your brains in then tie you up and make you watch me fuck your wife untill then fuck your fat ass team the alabam crimson tampon rags later crack head."

IT'S GREAT TO BE AN AUBARN (AL) TIGGER! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

Old Misses Review: The Rebelz got nutted on...

...by Cheez-nuts and Aubarn (AL)!!

SPLAT!!!!!


AUBARN (AL)'S BACK IN BUSINESS BITCHES!!!

Coach Cheez-it said his main goal upon his arrival in the lovely Lee County was to beat Coach Tubby's former team, Ole Misses, to show that even he could beat Ole Misses in his first year at Aubarn (AL). He said the last three weeks were simply a trap to set Ole Misses up.... and it worked perfectly!

COACH CHEEZ-IT'S A GENIUS!



Next up on the docket is Furman, a prime-time opponent which will serve as a tough task for Lord Cheez-it (because they're so bad-ass we decided to play them instead of UCLA), but never fear we will prevail and I assure each and every Barnie in Lee County that we will dominate the perennial powerhouse known as Furman convincingly!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

Happy Halloween from the AUbarnie!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

"Monster Mash" music video starring: Dale (moi), I-Man, Otis Franklin, Charles from Reeltown, and Coach Gene Cheez-it!!

Panic time for Barnies? NOT JUST YET...

WE CAN SURVIVE A WEEK WITHOUT ALABAMMER FOOTBALL!!!

Alabammer may have a bye week, but there's still hope and here's why....

Folks, I know Opelika is in a severe state of panic right now due to the fact that Alabammer's not playing tomorrow, and we as Barnies can't go a second without us some Alabammer, specially on Saturdays, but not all hope is lost...

Tomorrow, Aubarn (AL) is playing Ole Misses for those of you who didn't know. Now I know it's not Alabammer, but it's fourth-best at the max!!

Sure, maybe we can't hope and pray all day long prior to kick-off that Alabammer's opponent will defeat them, nor can we disect the game pointing out that the refs are on Bammer's side, nor can we point out how many times $atan drops the F-bomb on the sideline, nor can we fantasize all day long about wishing we could be them for a day laugh cause Bammer ain't us, but even we need to rest up on the Alabammer obsession every now and again...

And look on the bright side, Alabammer is playing LSYOU next weekend so they'll be back and we can focus back on them, and put Aubarn (AL) behind us!

So there ain't no need to panic... Alabammer will be back soon enough!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

BARNIES OF THE WEEK.... HALLOWEEN EDITION!!!!

To honor the great Barnie Halloween tradition, and seeing how we're less than a week away from Halloween, this week's Barnie of the Week award goes to...

THE FRATERNITY KLANSMEN OF AUBARN (AL)!!

Aubarn (AL) is prominently known for it's virulent racism, and we as Barnies take pride in that -- hence being known as "the last college in America to still have a plantation mentality". Whether it's denying coaches the job who are of any other color than white (trash), denying bar entry to those who are of any other color than white (trash), or treating those who are of any other color than white (trash) like pieces of meat, we as Barnies can take pride in being ranked number 1 in yet another category!! HAHAHAHAHA BAMMERS, YOU HEAR THAT??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

LSYOU Fans got it right...

...'cause we're proud to be Alabammer rejects!

WAR DAMN ALABAMMER REJECTS HEY!

BREAKING NEWS: Inside The Aubarn (AL) TIgerz Reports Bammer IS behind the Aubarn (AL) referee conspiracy!!!

Source (must have a Scout.com account to view)

Looks like I(ncomprehensible)-Man was right!

Folks, what you about to read is the truth. We're talking UFO, Bigfoot, and Aubarn (AL) winning the national championship in '09 truth!!! Enjoy...

"The zebras have hammered Auburn for three straight games, and while many calls were earned, just as many were bogus--and much more destructive than the earned ones. That is unprecedented in all my years of watching SEC football. The very fact that the SEC office all but admitted corruption by saying the "call wasn't there" last week in the Ark -FL game (and then suspending the refs), convinces me of the obvious--the problem is conference-wide, if not NCAA-wide. In this day and age of hard times and economic insecurity, there are many obvious motives to tamper with the games. The most hard to believe motive, however, sould be that in our case the Red Elephants DO NOT WANT AU to succeed with what might be an incredible recruiting class. Call me whatever you want. I don't give a damm, but I've never seen such purposeful calls AGAINST a specific team, and would say so if the target were Alabama or Tennessee. And while you are riding your high horse and shouting "bl;ack helicopters," stop for just a moment to explain to me why this has been going on the past three weeks. One thing's for sure, no matter how you do it, put early legal pressure on a team and in a game of talented athletes critical plays, and you can orchestrate outcome. It' ain't, as they say, rocket science.Alabama may well be the only program in the country that would go so far, but when you have them on retainer, they might as well earn their $$ when you aren't playing. Again, I don't give a rat's rear end what anybody thinks, but this is new ground even for SEC refs. -Mrkgreen"

"So what will happen with #2??

 

We can overcome #1, but unless there is some investigation not #2. -AUdreamer"

"There has never been any thing that resembles what passes for SEC officiating.  While I have zero proof, I cannot help believe my own eyes. Cheating is the word that applies. The University of Alabama (the corruption goes all the way to the top) will do anything to win and to damage Auburn.  They are a mafia type organization, and they have people in high places who are mafia connected.  I've said it before and I will say it again, if they will pay $200,000 for a fat defensive lineman from Memphis, who else will they pay?  There are also other ways to affect people's actions other than bribes.  Pressure can be brought in many ways.  The SEC will do nothing.  If the NCAA doesn't act, nothing will change. -CaptainWonderful"

"Penny wise and dollar foolish. Perhaps. They may kill the golden goose yet. But unless the fan base turns its nose to pre-determined outcomes, you are right. People love their fantasies. -Mrkgreen"

"I would happily donate $10K towards private investigators if something really came of it - I kid you not.  And I can afford it. -AUdreamer"

"Although I've disagreed with some of your positions in the past, we are in total agreement  on point #2. Many of our fans, particularly the younger ones, have no idea the lengths bama will go to to not only insure the success of their program, but the failure of ours -BigAquila"

"I really, really hate to admit this, Mark, but I have felt the same way about #2.  alabama was having a GREAT first half of the season, and the story (at least where I am) was Auburn, Chizik, Trooper Towels, get on the Gus Bus, etc.  There was big time momentum in recruiting.  Big Cat weekend, Tiger Prowl, etc. didn't "scare" anybody, but it sent a message that this staff came to play - and they have.  One alabama HS coach (who is also an alabama fan) was quoted as saying he had not seen much of AU coaches in the last couple years, "but Luper and Trooper are EVERYWHERE!"  (he didn't use those names exactly, they are under bama's skin so bad that they have 'earned' nicknames, but that is who he was talking about).

 

They had to find a way to help stop it.  To  kill the momentum.

 

Knowing how they operate, I believe they decided after the AU-West Virginia game that enough was enough, and the wheels were turning.  Don't forget, these officials do have regular jobs.  This is not their primary job.

 

I am telling you they want to BURY us off the field and leave nothing to chance.  For some reason - even with a rock star head coach - they are not satisfied with good old 'mano y mano' competition on and off the field.  Despite perception, Auburn has more than held its own when all things were 'equal'.  They want to leave nothing to chance. - TIGRRR"

"Point #2 isdead on!!! I have never seen so many zebra flags against AU that were flat out fraud.

 

Notice every single time UT crossed the bammer 30; there was a flag? -theagent39"

"The first thing I said was that I have zero proof.  Secondly it would be very difficult to prove.  Cash handled properly does not leave a paper trail, and their are other ways of motivating, including threats and blackmail.  I am not just talking about Auburn playing poorly either.  Did you see the Florida - Arkansas game?  I cannot go out and investigate.  I have neither the means or the knowhow.  Neither am I Sherlock Holmes, Thomas Magnum, or Jim Rockford.  Believe what you want, but open your eyes and observe. -CaptainWonderful"

"... the truth is that there were at least 5 or 6 KEY penalties that were called against us OR not called against LSU that were the difference between a close game and a 21-point loss.  The craziest thing I saw was early in the game they called our DB for "unneccessary roughness". OK fine, so I guess the refs are being overly protective of the players. But later in the 2nd quarter an LSU DB not only led with his helmet, he hit Blake helmet-to-helmet... but no call???? And that was just one no-call/bad call out of at least 5 or 6 others.  It boggles the mind. Had the refs not blown so many calls, I think the chances are great that the score would have been tied 7-7 at halftime.  No doubt we would have played better had we been tied rather than being down 17-0. -FrostyMuggs"

"I agree with everything stated in the original post. -AUTE91"

"This is hardlly just about Auburn.  An undefeated bama vs an underfeated Florida in the SEC championship game will produce huge dollars.  It's really pretty simple. -CaptainWonderful"

"yes our team is bad, but if anyone thinks bammer would not do what Mark Green and other people suggested with the refs, then you are living in a bubble.  Bammer is the most corrupt program ever.  They declared war on Auburn after the 6 in a row.  They will do whatever it takes. -autiger288"

"I try not to get to caught up in conspiracy theories and all that with refs and their bad calls, but for whatever reason they sure have stunk something terrible the last few games, all AU loses. -bcox4life"

ITA(AL)T does have a point! It was the officiating that cost us the nail-biter Saturday night... and why? Eight simple letters: BAMMER!

Sources Bobby From Homewood, Alabammer and I(ncomprehensible)-Man are reporting Alabama will be receiving a PLOI in three weeks and they will receive the death penalty plus all of their male fans will be castrated for this!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY AND WAR DAMN DEATH PENALTY HEY!

LSYOU REVIEW: No smoking cigars this year, boys!!!

The road to the national championship is starting to look a lot like these backroads over here in Lee County!

Looks like the real Tigerz of the SEC just caught us at a bad moment...

Some fans weren't too happy with Coach Gene Cheez-it's joke this time around...

Coach Gene Cheez-it (prominently known for his knee-slapping comedic skills and joke pulling) announced Saturday after the game that he was just kidding about winning the national championship. He said our real goal this year was to win the SEC title!

We've already ordered our maps so that we can find our way to Atlanter!

But in other (and better) news... HAHAHAHAHAHA ALABAMMER, WE SCORED MORE POINTS AGAINST TENNURSEE THAN YAL'L DID!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Next week, it's the Navy Nightmare game against Old Myss!

As if spending an entire day in Lee County wasn't nightmarish enough!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY...

Alabammer's 12 National Championships Are Fake...

This Bammer who made this stoopid video is just too stoopid to understand the non-stoopid facts (but kudos for giving a shout-out to the AUbarnie!!!)!

HAHAHAHAHA ALABAMMER! YAL'L DON'T HAVE 

TWELVE NASHUNAL CHAMPONCHIPS!! HAHAHAHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!! GOT SIX IN A ROW?

PROOF: ALABAMMER CHEATS! PROOF! PROOF! PROOF!

You Bammers say you want proof? WELL HERE IT IS!!!!

There has been an extreme rash of duct tape stealin' going on here in Lee County. That's my girlfriends sun pictured in the above photo, sporting the last of the duct tape here in Lee County as duct tape can be used for anything... even a diaper!

TOLD YAL'L ALABAMMER CHEATS!

Well folks, not only does Alabammer cheat, but they're a bunch of cheating, lying, thieves as well! I think we know who the Lee County Duct Tape Bandit is... IT'S LEIGH TIFFIN!

A local here in the AU trailer park told reporters several weeks back that she saw Leigh Tiffin running around the trailer park... and it looks like she was right! "I saw Leigh Tiffin running around like a chicken with his head cut off. He impregnated me. We have a child. Our child is Beonce" Gale Jimboson from Wire Road Lot East told reporters two weeks ago. What was he doing running around OUR TRAILER PARKS? Answer: stealing duct tape and impregnating our beautiful women! What's he using the duct tape for? Spotting the mark of the ball WHICH IS CHEATING! CHEATING! CHEATING! I TOLD YALL THEY WERE CHEATERS AND THIS IS THE PROOF!!!

Sources Incomprehensible-Man and Bobby from Homewood, Alabammer are reporting that Alabama is now facing lawsuits from Aubarn (AL) and is also facing yet another death penalty for this and the walls are closing in as they are expected to receive the death penalty sometime this week, before the Alabammer/Tennursee game. It's too bad they won't get to see us shit-can them this year!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY! AND WAR DAMN CHEATERS NO!

LSYOU Week Begins!

Just remember my fellow, Barnies... COONASS IS AN EVIL WORD! NICK $ATAN ORIGINATED THE SLANG TERM, THEREFORE WE DO NOT SAY IT!

Participating in the saying of the word "Coonass" is against Aubarn Man™ guidelines! Why? CAUSE NICK $ATAN SAID IT DAMNIT!!! THAT'S FREAKING WHY!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!! LSYOU -6  AUBARN (AL) 328!

Anti-Barnie of the week!

WAR DAMN (BAMMER) BANDWAGONER!

I(ncomprehensible)-Man's Thoughts on Aubarn (AL)'s Mid-Way Point

I-Man: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka

the only undefeated Finebaum caller.

FUCK THE INTRODUCTION TODAY I'M CUTTING STRAIGHT TO MY POINT...

BAMMER CHEATS. PLAIN AND SIMPLE!

I HAVE SOME INSIDE SOURCES WHO CURRENTLY WORK FOR THE NCAA (WHO I USED TO INSTALL AIR CONDITIONING UNITS FOR) AND THEY ARE TELLING ME ALABAMMER IS CURRENTLY UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR PAYING THE REF'S TO MAKE SURE THAT AUBARN (AL) LOSES. IT'S TWO WEEKS IN A ROW THAT THOSE DIRTY CHEATIN' NO GOOD BASTERDS HAVE SCREWED US OVER AND SOON THEY WILL PAY FOR IT.

ALABAMMER IS NOW FACING THREE DEATH PENALTIES AND LOUISVILLE IS IN TALKS OF REPLACING ALABAMMER IN THE SEC AFTER THE DOORS ON THEIR PROGRAM ARE SHUT FOR ALL ETERNITY.

AUBARN (AL) IS TAKING SERIOUS MEASURES TO PREVENT ALABAMMER FROM GETTING TO THE REF'S IN BATON ROOOOJE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE BY PAYING THEM TO IGNORE THE BAMMERS IN ADVANCE. THE REF'S DIDN'T HESITATE TO TAKE THE MONEY AS THEY LAUGHED THEIR ASSES OFF WHEN WE HANDED IT TO THEM. WHAT WAS SO FUNNY TO THOSE IDIOTS, I HAVE NO IDEA, BUT AT LEAST WE KNOW BAMMER AIN'T GONNA GET TO THEM THIS WEEK!

UNTIL NEXT TIME... I-MAN.... OUT! CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK MONDAY-FRIDAY!

Despite loss to Kenterky Fried Chicken, Aubarn (AL) is still the best team in the land!

Coach Gene Cheez-it (10-21) calls up Turner Gill for advice.

"They cheated. We prepared all week for Mike Hartline but instead they start the back-up QB. What a bunch of cheaters... Bammer was behind this I know it! They're cheaters too. In fact they cheat in every facet of the game. They'll cheat to win. They'll cheat to make others lose. Hell, they'll cheat just to get a good laugh."

 Just remember folks, if LSYOU can win the national championship with two losses against Kentucky and Arkansaw... then why can't we?

But on the bright side... HAHAHAHAHA ALABAMMER YOU ALMOST LOST TO SOUTH CAROLINA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU ALMOST LOST TO SOUTH CAROLINA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!! BRING ON THE CORNDAWGS!!!