Top Ten AU Moments of the Decade: Number 6

THE 2004 UNDEFEATED SEC CHAMPIONS AND IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!

The Virtues of an Aubarn (AL) University Education

We've seen what it can do for Junior "I has a crayon" Rosegreen, "St-st-stutterin" Kenny Irons, Cadillac "Illiterate" Williams, but now, you'll see what it did for two members of the Aubarn (AL) family, one being TMTMTL, Sir Charles Barkley aka get down on dez nuts, bitch...



WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

ESPN Aubarn (AL) Fail

With all the recent spelling mishaps taking place in Tuscalooser, as we questioned whether or not Alabammer hirez Aubarn (AL) grads or not, it appears ESPN may have an Aubarn (AL) grad or two working CG in the control room.

With that being said, regardless as to whether they do have AUtards working in the control room or not...

HAHAHAHAHAHA ALABAMER, ESPEN WAS TALKING BOUT US AND NOT YOU. THEY GOT US CONFUSED WITH LSWHO CAUSE THEY HAD THEIR MINDS ON US AND NOT YOU!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Clemson vs. Aubarn (AL)...

Orange and blue colors... a school with a lake and one without... one's mascot is a tiger while one of the mascots is a tiger at the other... one school is located in South Carolina, while the other is located in Georgia AND the school in Georgia also has a rock named Howard!

"Fans are loyal to college football because it is built on its tried-and-true traditions. From Chief Osceola at Florida State to Southern California’s Traveler, from rubbing Howard’s rock at Auburn to Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame, the sport has rich ties to the past."

Looks like we gots us a new tradition... that's one more that Alabammer doesn't have!!! HAHA ALABAMMER! WE GOTS HOWARD ROCK TRADITION AND YALL DON'T!!! HAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

I(ncomprehensible)-Man's Thoughts on A(AL)U vs. Clemson

I-Man: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka

the only undefeated Finebaum caller.

I'M NOT AFRAID... I'M NOT AFRAID... EVERYBODY... EVERYBODY... HEY HEY HEY! WHAT IT BE MY AUBARN HOMIES?!

YALL KNOW IT'S WEEK THREE AND...... BAMMER'S UNDEFEATED. THAT JUST MAKES ME MADDER THAN A GAY DUDE BEING HIT ON BY A GIRL. EVERY YEAR IT'S THE SAME OLE SHIT. HOW CAN A TWO-TIME NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP WINNING COACH, WITH NFL EXPERIENCE, COACHING THE MOST STORIED AND TRADITION RICH PROGRAM IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL HISTORY BE SO SUCCESSFUL???? IT'S SIMPLE: THOSE ASS-PIRATES ARE CHEATING! CHEATING! CHEATING! CHEATING!

IT'S BEEN SAID MORE THAN A TIME OR TWO THAT THE PLOI WILL BE SENT IN THREE WEEKS, PROBLEM IS IT DIDN'T COME. HOWEVER, RECENT STUDIES HAVE SHOWN MOST AUBARN FANS CAN'T COUNT, THEREFORE, THEY DID MEAN IT WAS COMING, BUT JUST HAD THEIR MATH A LITTLE WRONG. NO BIG DEAL. EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES AND WE ALL KNOW WE AUBARN FANS ARE FAR FROM PERFECT.

BUT THE PLOI IS COMING AND ALABAMMER WILL BE SLAMMED WITH NCAA SANCTIONS AND AUBARN, AL WILL REIGN SUPREME!

I KNOW I CAN'T WAIT, WHAT ABOUT YALL??? BTW, WHO IS AUBARN PLAYING AGAIN THIS WEEKEND? I KNOW ALABAMMER IS PLAYING DUKE, AT WALLACE WADE STADIUM AND THEY'VE INCREASED THEIR CAPACITY FOR THIS ONE GAME ALONE, AND IT WILL BE ON ABC, AND INGRAM WILL BE RETURNING, AND NICK SATAN REFERRED TO DUKE AS A DANGEROUS TEAM, AND I CAN GO ON AND ON AND ON.

SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, I KNOW AUBARN IS PLAYING SOMETIME THIS WEEKEND. CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE IT'S BEING PLAYED AND WHAT TIME ON WHAT DAY. BUT ANYWHO, SOMEBODY REMIND ME QUICK! BUT I AIN'T WATCHING AUBARN PLAY IF ITS THE SAME TIME BAMMER IZ ON.

I-MAN.... OUT! CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK MONDAY-FRIDAY!

What is little man's syndrome/Pat "Cough" Dye Gives Barnies a Word of Advice...

Aside from growing 'maters, spittin' tobaccer, and drinking just enough cough syrup to get drunk and lose his pants, what's sir Patrick Fain Dye been up to these days? I'll tell you what the mother fucker's been up to... speaking to Aubarn (AL) fans in Montgomery is what he's doing...

"If they get beat, it will be an upset," Dye told a huge crowd at the Montgomery Quarterback Club's meeting Tuesday night. "But you have to be lucky to go undefeated, I don't care how good you are.

"If they are not at the top of their game and the team they're playing is at the top of their game, that team will have a chance to win. The SEC is just too tough a league."

"This is kind of hard to say as an Auburn man, but Alabama is a fun team to watch," he said. "They play the game the way it ought to be played.

"Alabama's got the right man in there now," Dye said, referring to Tide head coach Nick Saban. "But it took them 20 years. We've got a good coach at Auburn right now, and the fans need to trust him.

...................................

"The big thing is, Auburn needs to worry about what's happening at Auburn and not worry about what's happening across the state. Because we can only control what goes on at Auburn. If we are the best that we can be at Auburn, then that'll take care of Alabama."

So is Pat Dye a hypocrite? And what's the point of Aubarn (AL) football if ya can't AUbsess over The University of Alabammer????

Gameday is coming to Aubarn (AL)...

So what kind of signs should you expect to see?

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

It's almost game-time baby and what does that mean? The Iron Bowl National Championship is right around the corner... all 11 games leading up to the National Championship is merely tune-up games for the Aubarn (AL) Tigers/Eagles/Plainsmen/Rodeo Lovers/Wire Road Rodents/Cowboys.

And to honor the forthcoming NC game, I present to you THIS WEEK'S Barnie of the Week...



Miss Lady, trust me when I say I, along with the rest of the incestuous Aubarn (AL) family, hate Alabammer too... much more than I love Aubarn (AL)! We thank you for your strong devotion to hating Alabammer!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Aubarn (AL)'s New Pro Combat Uniforms Unveiled today...

And they're utterly awesome!

WEAGLE WEAGLE WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

What is little man's syndrome?

It is Jay Jacobs' Master Plan...

Jay Jacobs wants to make one thing perfectly clear. The Auburn Tigers are not copycats.

The Auburn AD is very much aware that his biggest rival is finishing its second major expansion in the last four years, that Bryant-Denny Stadium now looks like Jordan-Hare on HGH.

But if you're waiting for Auburn to follow Alabama's lead, don't hold your breath until you turn blue. Or orange.

"We're not going to increase our capacity just because someone else is increasing their capacity," Jacobs said. "We're going to do what's best for us."

source

BARNIES OF THE WEEK!!!!!

I present to you...

Two very fine representatives of the classy Aubarn (AL) Incestuous family: Tammy and Charles...

One is "Charles from Reel­town." The other is "Tammy," who lives so far out in the boon­docks of Coosa County that rat­tlesnakes have free rein and mail carriers don't come to her house off a dirt road because it's a mile beyond the delivery limit.

What these grandparents have in common is a love for the Auburn Tigers and a disdain for most things crimson. As ex­pected, they can't wait for the season to start Sept. 4.

Satellite listeners are now fa­miliar with them as they tune in the Paul Finebaum Radio Net­work and hear them castigate Alabama and Coach Nick Sa­ban.

"I call him Nick the dictator or just 'Nictator,'" said "Charles," whose real name is Kenneth Fomby -- born and raised in Tallassee, but living in Reeltown the past quarter cen­tury.

"Fame ain't affected me none," said Tammy Hethcox. "I'm a redneck woman, and I'll always be one."

Continue the story here

Aubarn (AL) is the NEW number 1 team in the land!!!

HAHAHAHA ALABAMMER!!! AJC VOTES US THE MOST OBNOXIOUS FAN BASE AND NOT YALL!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!1 HAHAHAHAHAHA!! HA! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

1. Auburn (No. 2 in 2008, No. 6 in 2010 AJC.com poll): Because Tiger fans still worship at the tainted feet of Pat Dye. Because they run off coaches on a whim. Because they’ve grown as arrogant as Alabama backers without one-tenth the justification. Because they’re still whining over the national championship they didn’t win in 2004. Because the world’s worst fan — the Montgomery banker Bobby Lowder — is an Auburn man. And because I would pay money (though not a lot) to see Bobby Lowder in jean shorts.

-AJC

All I gots to say is we have every right to be obnoxious:

-6 straight Iron Bowl National Championship victories
-1/2 AP title in a gazillion years
-Just as many SEC titles as Georgia Tech*
-Just as many bowl appearances as Alabama has bowl victories
-Coach 13-24
-More mascots than Lindsey Lohan has freckles
-Trailer Park housing
-Aubarn (AL) University endorsed rodeos
-Fraternity KKK meetings
-A university that looks like a brickyard puked onto a cow pasture

And last but not least...

We've gots the best looking cows in America!

GOT ALL THAT BAMMER? YOU SURE DON'T!!! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

*Georgia Tech left the SEC in 1964

Think again Byron...

Byron owns one of the finest BBQ pits here in Lee County (the FDA blames Byron for 90% of the Lee County population being overweight)... Byron also owns 3/4ths of the junkyards in Lee County.

This Bud is for you, Byron!

The AUbarnie song of the day...

NO TOSSING USED TOILET PAPER IN THE TREES TODAY, GANGSTERS!!!

"Southern California has been stripped of its 2004 Grantland Rice Trophy, which was awarded to the Trojans for winning the national championship that season.

However, the Football Writers Association of America (FWAA) declined to name a replacement for USC"s vacated spot.

There was some thought that Auburn might be named the 2004 national champion by the FWAA with USC being stripped of the title, and that was a scenario that was discussed. Ultimately, the FWAA decided not to name anybody."

-USC's Loss Isn't Aubarn (AL)'s Gain

Never has a school boasted so much, yet claimed so little....
-Unknown (haha)

I(ncomprehensible)-Man Returns...

And him's bringing the Mountain Man Band along with hims!

Do you have a thirst for Incomprehensible Man's dizzy logic?

Are you hungry for some blind Incomprehensible Man commentary?

Are you unable to listen to his ongoing nonsense on the Paul Finebaum show?

Do you miss Incomprehensible Man's weekly ya ya just as much as you miss the girl/guy who took your virginity?

If the aforementioned applies to you, well you're in luck because Incomprehensible Man IS BACK and he has a letter to all of the faithful Aubarn (AL) Men and Women and children and pets:

WAZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUP!!! HERE I COME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY: I-MAN MY ALBURN PEEPS!!!

FORGIVE MY HIATUS BUT I-MAN HAS BEEN ON A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY BITCHES! THAT'S RIGHT, ONE DAY UPON AWAKENING I DECIDED I HAD ENOUGH AND IT WAS TIME FOR A CHANGE. SO I LOADED UP MY PICKUP WITH RAMEN NOODLES AND VIENNA SAUSAGES AND BUD LIGHT AND PULLED OUT THE DRIVEWAY. THEN... MY FUCKING TRUCK BROKE DOWN NOT EVEN FIVE MILES FROM THE HOUSE. SO THEN, I BEGAN TO WALK. SOME CALL IT A LABOR OF LOVE, AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS. I WAS WALKING BECAUSE I LOVE AUBARN. MY DESTINATION: THE GREAT BEYOND AKA INDIANAPOLIS INDIANA.

NOW WHY WAS I WALKING ALL THE WAY TO INDIANAPOLIS INDIANA? DUHHHH TO DELIVER EVIDENCE OF ALABAMMER CHEATING. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. ANYWAY, LONG STORY SHORT, I DID IN FACT MAKE IT TO INDIANAPOLIS BUT THE FREAKING NCAA HEADQUARTERS WERE CLOSED, AND I WAS STUCK INT HE POURING RAIN BUT I DID THE SMART THING AND LEFT THE LETTER ON THE DOORSTEP.

SO ANY DAY NOW THE NCAA WILL DELIVER THE HAMMER ON ALABAMMER AND I'LL BE HERE TO REPORT IT TO YOU FIRST BECAUSE I-MAN IS BACK BIOTCHES AND HOES!!!!

IN THE MEANTIME, YOU CAN CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK MONDAY-FRIDAY!

What is little man's syndrome?

It is Cameron "Dell" Newton's unforgettable quote:

“Oh, no doubt,” the starter said. “Anytime you turn on the TV or you turn on the sports talk radio show or anywhere, they’re talking about the other team ... Of course, we know that they’re an excellent team as well. We feel like we’re not being mentioned as we should be.”

Welcome to the second-rate inferior world of Lee County, Dell Newton! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!


source

Barnie of the week: Fatal 4 Way Youtube Edition!

The Wild Man



VS. Weagle Weagle Tards




VS. The Aubarn (AL) Dance




VS. The Beer Helmet Genius

Update on THE Best Running Back in the State of Alabammer...

Newsweek is calling Tate's performance, "Miraculous! The best -5 yard running back in the NFL!"

USA Today is hailing Ben Tate as the "Preseason Rookie of the Year!"

Mike Singletary is raving, "Ben Tate is not ready for the NFL!"

Oh the tears of unfathomable sadness... yummy!

Proof: ALABAMMER HIRES AUBARN (AL) GRADS...

As you can tell by the immaculate spelling, courtesy of our big brother across the state, The University of Alabammer hires the Aubarn (AL) spelling bee champions to proof-read their tickets (as seen below):

The real mystery is, which Aubarn (AL) grad was it?

Your guess is as good as mine! WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

GOT FIVE?????

WE DO!!!! HAHAHA ALABMMER, WE GOTS FIVE NASHUNAL TITLES AND YALL DON'T!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Looks like our long lost friend can finally rest in peace!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

Who knew Epic Beard Man was an Aubarn (AL) fan?

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

AUBARNIE IS BACK!!!...

...and just in time for football season!

I apologize for the Summer-long absence, but the AUbarnie has spent his Summer helping the good folks of the Gulf of Mexico, and even though BP claims they have "plugged the leak" I still encourage everyone keep the fine people of the Gulf in your good thoughts and prayers, and continue to support them in every way possible as hundreds of thousands are still jobless due to the unfortunate crisis.

SaveOurGulf.org

BARNIE OF THE WEEK!!!

You might be a redneck Barnie if...

If the perfect push-up can work for this guy, then why not you?

Let's wash 'em like we do the cows!

Straight from the Front Page of the AUbarn (AL) Villager:

Click the image for higher resolution view

Looks like I'll now finally get to check Aubarn (AL)'s City Fest and seeing Farmer John perform live in person, off my Bucket List!!!
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Barnies as South Park Characters

In more recent news, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, creators of the hit controversial show South Park, have once again found a way to piss off the strict followers of the Islamic faith... and to honor their ballsy efforts of continuously finding ways to get under the folks who are more delusional than them there Bammers, I'd like to pay tribute to the show by dramatically transforming real life Barnies into animated South Park Characters.

So without further ado, I present to you...



I-MAN!!!!!

See the resemblance? I was thinking this guy could fly as the brother of Randy Marsh! And as the Ghetto Avenue Boys once sang, I-Man has definitely "Got it" except he ain't no girl... at least last time he reported for his monthly sheep duty shift here in Lee County, he wasn't...

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!