What is little man's syndrome? Part 2...

The Eight Epic Fail Prophecies of Barniedamus...

Barniedamus (left) sets, pondering on his ninth prophecy to the people of Lee County.

From Crapstonereport.

1. January 2007, Bama hires Nick Saban. After a rough first season, finishing 7-6…ironically potentially the same record Auburn will likely finish with this season yet they call 2009 a “success”…Saban racks up back-to-back undefeated (regular) seasons, equaling Chiznip’s win total in only one of those two seasons.

2. December 4, 2008, Bama loses a heartbreaker to Florida in the 2008 SEC Championship Game, then lays an egg against Utah in an embarrassing Sugar Bowl loss. Surely the making of a program’s fall, right? Nope. Bama responds with an encore that includes 12 more regular season wins and takes the West again.

3. November 27, 2009, Auburn plays its best possible game, employing new formations, trick plays and strategy unseen prior to its clash with the undefeated, highly ranked and Western Division Champs Crimson Tide. They jump out to a quick 14-0 lead. But methodically, Bama comes back. Finally, holding to a one point edge, Abarn sees Greg McElroy methodically eat the fourth quarter clock, driving Bama into field goal range for the go ahead kick…subsequently leaving the door open for Tigger victory, something Bama has been accustomed to doing for years. But this Bama team is engineered by a coach who knows how to deliver a knock-out blow in enemy territory, calling timeout and trumping a run to ensure a touchdown. Then you watch the coach who you’ve convinced yourself is the answer waste 1:13, wandering around in his own confusion while doing his best Les Miles impression. Hard to sleep that night, I’m sure.

4. December 5, 2009. If Auburn couldn’t take Bama down, surely they could sit back and enjoy the Gators finishing the job. Nope. Alabama systematically dismantles the Tim Tebow machine. Bama strikes a 13-0 season on its way to the National Championship game in the Rose Bowl, a storied stadium rich in the tradition of Alabama football. Another tough night to sleep if you’re wearing Aubie pajamas.

5. December 10, 2009. “If the Notre Dame job ever comes open, Saban is gone.” Those words danced in the hearts of every barner out there. Along with phrases like “Saban is a nomad…he’ll never stay anywhere long.” Notre Dame is the ultimate job…and he’s Catholic…oh yea, he’ll go if Weis ever gets canned. Well, Weis gets canned, Kelley gets hired, and Saban stays put, with plans to dominate college football from home base, right here in Tuscaloosa. This must wake you up at night if you’re “fearless and true.”

6. December 12, 2009. But, if Auburn couldn’t beat Bama, at least they could dash their Heisman Trophy hopes. Holding Ingram in check in the Iron Bowl would surely steal Bama’s thunder in the race for sports’ most prestigious individual award. Nope. Mark Ingram becomes the first Alabama player to win the Heisman, and Aubies everywhere have to watch Pat Sullivan shake hands with his new fraternity brother. That picture will burn in a memory for a lifetime.

7. December 13, 2009 The hardest realization. As a barner, you’re inferior, but you’re not stupid. You’ve watched good football all your life, primarily because the University of Alabama shares the state with you, but you’ve even had a few flash-in-the-pan good seasons of your own at the expense of Alabama's downfall. Though attempts for self-brainwashing are somewhat successful, something eats at your conscience that you’re doing yourself a disservice. And no matter how hard you want to convince yourself that Mr. 12-24, Gene Chiznip can compete with three-time SEC Champion and soon to be two-time National Champion, Nick Saban, who now can now boast recruiting/producing a Heisman Trophy winner, you know Chiznip can’t. You know that “AUlmost” is as close as you can hope for. You know 7-5, 8-4 or MAYBE 9-3 (if the NCAA lets you schedule Furman twice) and a Florida bowl are about as good as you’ll do with Chiznip, while your big brother continues to play big boy football and shelve the hardware. But really, that’s not all that different than what you’ve experienced all your life. It’s an Auburn tradition. And doggone it, be proud of it.

8. January 7, 2010...And finally, Aubarn fans proclaimed even Saban couldn't revive this dead program. The game had passed us by and we will never field a championship team, ever again. Our time was over and there was NO WAY we'd ever be 1/4 of what we were during our most glorious years... On this night, Alabama, led by Nick Saban, once again silenced the Barnies wishful cries of "it won't happen" as he and his team defeated the Texas Longhorns, winning the BCS National Championship...

What is little man's syndrome?

No explanation needed!

Gene Cheez-it Wins SEC West Newbie Coach National Championship!!!

Coach Dan Mullen (secretly a bammer) said in the post-game presser, "Cheez-it cheated!" Obviously this guy has got serious issues...

The road to the national championship continued last Saturday as Aubarn (AL) pummeled fellow conference powerhouse (and not a Florida divisional school), Mississippi State (who is 2-1 against Bammer in the last three years).

Coach Cheez-it (now 7-19!), had a tough task in front of him going into a monstrous battle, Saturday night by having to work hard all week at coming up with a solution to STOPPING a Misserssippi State offense that currently EQUALS the Florider Gatorz offense. In addition, he was also battling for the SEC West Newbie Coach of the Year National Championship (HA HA BAMMER WON WON SEC WEST NEWBIE COACH OF THE YEAR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP AND YAL'L DIDN'T!! HAHAHA!). Coach Cheez-it yet again proved to the universe that he is the best coach in terms of all aspects of coaching Saturday night by, not just blowing out one of the best teams the SEC West had to offer, but also shutting down a Florida Gator offense now turned Mississippi State Bulldawg... and also winning the SEC West Newbie Coach of the Year National Championship!

Looks like even ole Tuberneck lent Coach Cheez-it some advice on how to shut down a Florider Gator offense, now turned Misserssippi State!

Next week, Coach Cheez-it has his hands full again with an undefeated and overly extremely powerful Mountaineer squad who blew out a great coach last year, which was Tommy Tuberneck. West Virginia currently has two convincing wins over BCS powerhouses, Liberty (33-20) and ECU (35-20). I know coach Cheez-it will prevail as this will be yet another tune up game for him. Winning just ain't a problem with the Cheez-whiz!

Courtesy of CrapstoneReport.

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!!

Nick Saban is a CHEATER!!

Sources (Incomprehensible-Man and Bobby from Homewood, Alabammer) have each confirmed this to be true.

Nick Saban is a cheater; always has been, always will be. His Alabammer team is currently ranked first in the recruiting rankings according to Rivals.com but more importantly than that, it seems Trent Richardson has signed with Alabammer, instead of Florida.

Now, before you jump to conclusions, my sources (I-Man and Bobby) ARE NOT inaccurate. However, it appears they are reporting that Trent Richardson signed a $2 million dollar deal with Alabammer, and Nick Saban took a paycut for it.

I don't understand college Alabammer coaches these days. Why can't they all be honest and clean like Coach Cheez-it?

It doesn't matter, because this November, Coach Cheez-it's going to take that number 1 recruiting class and shove it up Nick Saban's arse. You can bank on that...

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

Will The Cheez-it Effect Strike Richardson???

Is that Opelika orange and blue, or Gator orange and blue?

They're calling him the next Deion Sanders. Who is he? He's Alabammer's number one recruiting prospect, Trent Richardson...

HOWEVER...

There is a catch...

Is this Deion Sanders remake man enough to play for a team, which shares the same state, as the almighty Cheez-it, or will he show he has more brains than balls by picking Florida? Sources (Incomprehensible-Man and Bobby from Homewood, Alabammer) say he's all Florida.

I wonder why Cheez-it didn't go after this guy? He seems like a prime target for Albarn football. I guess Coach Cheez-it is only following in the footsteps of Coach Tuberneck: only recruit class and character over talent.

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

More Aubarn recruiting updates to come...

Barnie of the week!

OUR VERSION OF ALABAMMER'S RED A GUY!!!

At least this Barnie ain't ashamed of his six-pack keg of which he flaunts so proudly in the above pick. The Alabammer guy has to wear red body paint, cause he's a sissy, like most Alabammer fans are today (*cough* Utah and Florida *cough*).

In other news, I think that's a tattoo of an eagle on his arm... could it be the War Eagle? Our version of Alabammer's red A guy is now officially a certified Aubarn Man™.

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!