The Road Continues: Aubarn (AL) trashes Ball State... who finished undefeated in 2008!

Even these dorks couldn't contain the Aubarn (AL) Tigers/Plainsmen/Eagles/(white) trash/Cowgirls last Saturday night.

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY EVERYBODY!!!

The road continued last Saturday night as Aubarn (AL) trash-canned the Ball State Cardinals 54-30... HA HA ALABAMMER WE SCORED MORE POINTS SATURDAY THAN YOU DID!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA!

I ain't gonna lie, these little bastards were tough, but ultimately they were no match for MR. 9-19 (ten more to go and he'll be a 500. coach!) and the mighty Aubarn (AL) football team.

At this point, the Iron Bowl National Championship is STILL playing in Aubarn (AL)'s favor. Alabammer is fortunate enough to be 4-0 though I must note they've still YET to play a team above mediocre status, while Aubarn (AL) on the other hand, continues to knock down BCS powerhouses, CRUSHING their dreams of a BCS title this year.

Coach Gene Cheez-it ain't upset about not being ranked in the AP poll....

...CAUSE WE'RE STILL RANKED NUMBER 1 IN THE OPELIKA-AUBARN NEWS PAPER POLL!! You hear that Bammer? WE'RE NUMBER ONE AND YAL'L AREN'T!! HAHAHAHA!!!

The road continues next Saturday night as the two greatest coaches in the SEC, finally square off against each other in the octagon on the gridiron. It's the match of the century: Coach Gene Cheez-it vs. Coach Lame Kiffin.

I'll have more on our upcoming foe later in the week, but until then...

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

The Road Continues: Aubarn (AL) Demolishes West Virginiar

The "Country Roads" of Aubarn (AL) were just too much.... In fact, I hear they got lost down one of those backroads in Lee County on the way to the stadium!

The West Virginians REALLY enjoyed the Aubarn (AL) experience as they fit right in with Aubarn (AL)'s finest...

Barnies show their class and hospitality toward the Mountaineer nation.

The journey continued today as Aubarn (AL) DESTROYED the best team in the state of West Virginiar (and 50x better than Virginiar Tech) in a revenge game to hold on to our Opelika-Aubarn News number 1 ranking (HAHA ALABAMMER WE'RE RANKED HIGHER THAN YOU).

Coach Cheez-it said in his opening post-game presser: "Come on Tommy, even I can beat West Virginia".

West Virginiar came in ready to unleash their explosive offense, but Aubarn (AL) shut them down FORCING six turnovers and it was smooth sailing for the barn from then on out. Coach Gene Cheez-it improved his mighty all-time record to 8-19 after Saturday's blowout win over the Big East aka The Big Powerhouse Conference's powerhouse team: West Virginiar.

Heisman caliber quarterback, Jarrett Brown received the MVP of the game award as he led the Aubarn (AL) team to 24 points all by his lonesome.

Even Scarbiniensekilosy of the Bammerham news watched our game; and here's the quote of the day:

So, sure, it’s so easy to go overboard. It’s harder to mark the exact time and place when the Auburn fan base got carried away by a fresh start under a new coach, but let’s give it a shot.
The time: 7:11 p.m. on Saturday Sept. 19.

The place: The student section at Jordan-Hare Stadium. It was at that precise moment, in that general location, when a soaked and shirtless young man held aloft a t-shirt with a giddy, lofty message:

‘‘Bama Don’t Want None.”

Clearly, all that rain on the Plain had seeped into his brain. Alabama is a better team than last year, which means Alabama is one of the best teams in the nation. Again.

Bama don’t want none? Of Auburn? Are you sure?

The last time Auburn played Alabama, the Tigers didn’t score none.

Rather than taunting the Tide, it seemed like a better idea at the time to forget Nick Saban’s team and focus on his home state.

West Virginia.

Outside of Alabama, no one humiliated Auburn last season like West Virginia. Two possessions in Saturday night, Mountaineers had picked up where they left off.

It was just a joke though cause WE'RE NOT AUBSESSED WITH ALABAMMER! In fact, they're so scared right now they're obsessed with us! I'll have proof coming in the following weeks.

Next week Aubarn (AL) takes on the mighty Ball State Cardinals, WHO WENT UNDEFEATED LAST YEAR ALABAMMER! They may be 0-3 right now (with VERY CLOSE LOSSES to powerhouse teams such as North Texas, New Hampshire, and Army), but they're not a team to overlook. However, Coach Gene Cheez-it will have the Barnies ready to play. Ball State joins the likes of Louisiana-Tech, Mississippi State, and Western Virginiar as losers who all lost to Coach Gene Cheez-it and company. In addition, they only make our schedule that much tougher showing that we are that much better than Alabammer! And I want to note once more... I AIN'T OBSESSED! Just stating the facts.

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

The Road to the BCS Championship Begins...

The road begins today!

Coach Gene Cheez-it has already stated that he's already ordered our Opelika-Aubarn News preseason predicted to win the Iron Bowl and BCS National Championship rings!

Coach Gene Cheez-it holds up OA News' preseason ranking for Aubarn (AL) for the AUbarnie at yesterday's practice... but it looks like he forgot to wear his Aubarn (AL) gear to practice. Guess it don't make much of a difference!!

We'll have our post-game analysis up sometime tomorrow. Until then, let's go out there and kick the Saban out of Derek Dooley!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

PREDICTIONS: 2008

This quote was taken from an ESPN page, written by a man called Mark Schlabach. 

"17. Auburn will name Gus Malzahn its coach-in-waiting
After the Tigers lose their first three games against Louisiana Tech, Mississippi State and West Virginia, Auburn will name offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn its coach-in-waiting to succeed recently hired Gene Chizik. USC quarterback Mitch Mustain, who played for Malzahn in high school and briefly at Arkansas, will transfer to Auburn."

Photo courtesy of Church of Saban

Okay, so it's obvious ole' Mark Schlabach is Bammer biased, just like the rest of the liberal media is.  

What is he seeing that we Barnies aren't? He must be as blind as the possum Granny Joan fried up last night for us.

This is just another reason for me to hate all the media, outside of The Opelika-Aubarn News. They're the most credible and unbiased news source, second to the AUbarnie Blogger of course. I want some of what he's smoking, because I sure as hell know it ain't that good stuff that ole' Coach Dye is growing down on his end of the farm. What's he gonna tell us next, Paul Finebaum is his bammer bed buddy? Or better yet, Paul Finebaum is a barnie? LOLOLOLOLOLOL! RIDICULOUS!

I'll be sure to send this moron, Mark Schlabach a friendly email immediately after we win the Iron Bowl National Championship and the BCS Championship next year... it's coming!

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

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