A-Day Revyou: AUBARN (AL) WINS!!!!

AUtards bring their footballs, programs, and laptops in hopes of having Cameron "Walks on Water" Newton autograph them.

Word on the street is autographed Cam Newton laptops are a real steal these day...

The Messiah aka Cam Newton made his Aubarn (AL) playing debut last Saturday at A-Day, living up to the hype and setting a new standard for SEC quarterbacks by overwhelmingly going 3 for 8 on Saturday!

The red carpet was rolled out for Cameron, by his reliable slaves, Coach Gene Cheez-it and Coach Arthur, as he snuck onto the field like a thief in the night, lighting the field up with his super powerful laptop snatching arm, and then returned to his kingdom (the world's first ever quadruple wide on Wire Road), where his driveway is actually paved... IN CEMENT and he has a screened in porch!

After putting on a quarterback clinic by brilliantly piling up the passing attempt numbers, Cam "Jesus" Newton's sheer awesomeness left Coach Cheez-it and Arthur so stunned, it literally sent them into a state of catatonia... which would explain why the clock never stopped running in the second half.

Aubarn (AL) fans came from all over Lee County and Wire Road, SELLING OUT THE LOWER BOWL LEVEL to get a live-action glimpse of the savior himself (and fortunately enough were not advised to park at the hay fields this year).

"My eyes... My eyes... the greatness radiating from every pore in our Master's body has blinded me!" Yeller Feller said.

A fellow resident of Wire Road had this to say: "He's my hero, my rock, and my inspiration. Me and my sheep slash lover, Cootus jumped in the pick-up and drove 25 miles to Columbus, GA just so we could steal us one of them wap-tops. Seeing a wap-top in person was a sight to behold, but seeing savior Cameron is just unexplainable... I brought mine with me cause me wants my new lord to sign it," Richie Dong said.

Sadly enough, Aubarn (AL) fans will have to wait until the Fall before they can see the Messiah perform again, but we're all a patient bunch... after all, we're still waiting on our 1 1/2 national championship and have been patiently waiting since 1957!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

ESPN's Little Brother Network to Televise the State of Alabammer's Little Brother Program...

Any questions?

Aubarn (AL)'s A-Day Scoring System

A-Day points goes as follows:

TOUCHDOWN: Six Points

FIELD GOAL: Three Points

BARELY MISS THE FIELD GOAL: Two Points

ALMOST SCORE A TOUCHDOWN: Three Points

KODI BURNS COMPLETES A PASS: Four Points

KODI BURNS ALMOST COMPLETES A PASS: Two Points

DROPPED PASS (AS LONG AS IT TOUCHES THE HANDS): Three Points

RIGHT PLAY CALLED BY COACH CHEEZ-IT OR ARTHUR GUSTAV MALZAHN III: Ten Points

ALMOST CALL THE RIGHT PLAY: Five Points

FOUR STAR RECRUIT VISITS THE CAMPUS: Twenty-Five Points

WHEN FOUR STAR RECRUIT COMMITS ELSEWHERE: Fifteen Points For At Least Showing Interest

FIVE STAR RECRUIT VISITS THE CAMPUS: Automatic Iron Bowl National Championship Victory

*SCHEDULING BONUS*: OPEN IN ATL WITH AGAINST A PRIME-TIME OPPONENT: Fifty Points

BUY-OUT PRIME-TIME OPPONENT AND REPLACE THEM WITH THE CITADEL OR ARKANSAS STATE: One-Hundred Points.

Aubarn (AL)'s A-Day Parking Information From The OPI Athletics Website

sourceCoach Clem Cooter gets the hay-field parking lot ready for Saturday!


From The Polytechnic Institute athletic web site on our A-Day Game on Saturday:

Public parking will be available at the old Auburn Credit Union lot northwest of the stadium and the hayfields on South Donahue. Tiger Transit will run from 9 a.m. until 2 hours post-game from the Hay Fields to Beard-Eaves-Memorial Coliseum.

The game will be televised LIVE by Comcast Sports Southeast. (HA! HA! ALABAMMER, OUR GAME'S GONNA BE TELEVISED LIVE BY COMCAST SPORTS SOUTHEAST AND Y'ALLS' ISN'T!! HA! HA!)

...In my opinion, if tickets are only five bucks (which is only worth one can of Skoll), and parking in the hay fields are free, then Opelikans had better be prepared to pack that joint out!

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

Top 10 Reasons why Aubarn (AL)'s Plan to Sell A-Day Tickets Online May Not Work

This is a forewarning to all Barnies with plans to purchase A-Day tickets over the internet...  

10. Students think Internet hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. only....

9. Most fans would rather buy tickets at Feed 'N Seed store; and or rather purchase tickets to rodeos....

8. Students boycotting games over "No Sheep Allowed" policy....

7. Fans demanding seats upgraded from hay bales to stadium seats....

6. Students can't swipe debit cards on keyboard....

5. Aubarn (AL) students can't use White-Out to correct mistakes....

4. Not all classroom trailers are wired for electricity.... 

3. Like football team, AU fans have trouble putting 3 W's together....

2. Internet's not yet available at Aubarn (AL)....

1. Bama graduates control the Internet.