AUtards bring their footballs, programs, and laptops in hopes of having Cameron "Walks on Water" Newton autograph them.Word on the street is autographed Cam Newton laptops are a real steal these day...
The Messiah aka Cam Newton made his Aubarn (AL) playing debut last Saturday at A-Day, living up to the hype and setting a new standard for SEC quarterbacks by overwhelmingly going 3 for 8 on Saturday!
The red carpet was rolled out for Cameron, by his reliable slaves, Coach Gene Cheez-it and Coach Arthur, as he snuck onto the field like a thief in the night, lighting the field up with his super powerful laptop snatching arm, and then returned to his kingdom (the world's first ever quadruple wide on Wire Road), where his driveway is actually paved... IN CEMENT and he has a screened in porch!
After putting on a quarterback clinic by brilliantly piling up the passing attempt numbers, Cam "Jesus" Newton's sheer awesomeness left Coach Cheez-it and Arthur so stunned, it literally sent them into a state of catatonia... which would explain why the clock never stopped running in the second half.
Aubarn (AL) fans came from all over Lee County and Wire Road, SELLING OUT THE LOWER BOWL LEVEL to get a live-action glimpse of the savior himself (and fortunately enough were not advised to park at the hay fields this year).
"My eyes... My eyes... the greatness radiating from every pore in our Master's body has blinded me!" Yeller Feller said.
A fellow resident of Wire Road had this to say: "He's my hero, my rock, and my inspiration. Me and my sheep slash lover, Cootus jumped in the pick-up and drove 25 miles to Columbus, GA just so we could steal us one of them wap-tops. Seeing a wap-top in person was a sight to behold, but seeing savior Cameron is just unexplainable... I brought mine with me cause me wants my new lord to sign it," Richie Dong said.
Sadly enough, Aubarn (AL) fans will have to wait until the Fall before they can see the Messiah perform again, but we're all a patient bunch... after all, we're still waiting on our 1 1/2 national championship and have been patiently waiting since 1957!
WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!
WHERE DID THE SHEEP HUMPERS PARK WAGONS THIS YEAR???????
ReplyDeleteIf they weren't advised to park in the hay fields, then I'm assuming they had myriad cow pastures to choose from, correct?
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