I(ncomprehensible)-Man-Clause Speaks Out on the Bowl Season

I-Man Clause: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka the only undefeated Finebaum caller aka the only Santa Clause with black chest hair.

HO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM AND A BOTTLE OF RUM HO HO HO!!! HERE I AM LIIIIIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE NORTH POLE CONFEDERACY: I-MAN CLAUSE MY LITTLE ELF-LETTES!!!

YA KNOW, ALABAMMER CHEATED TO BEAT FLORIDA. THE REC PUT THEM IN PLACE TO BEAT FLORIDER, SETTING THEM UP ON THE GRANDEST STAGE AGAINST TEXAS (SOURCES HAVE ALREADY CONFIRMED IT). HOWEVER, TEXAS AIN'T NO UTAH... THEY'RE BETTER!! WAY BETTER IN FACT. IN FACT, TEXAS IS GONNA BEAT ALABAMMER SO BADLY, THOSE RENTED MULES WE GOTS THAT WE BEATS DOWN HERE IN COW TOWN WILL SEEM LIKE A MINI VACATION AT THE OPELIKA INN!!

SOURCES HAVE ALREADY CONFIRMED THE OFFICIALS IN THE GAME DECLINES THE REC'S CHANCES OF PAYING THEM TO LET ALABAMMER WIN, SO IT'S GONNA BE OOOOOONNNNN AND TEXAS IS GONNA DO TO ALABAMMER WHAT AUBARN (AL) WAS GONNA DO TO ALABAMMER BEFORE THE REC STEPPED IN (AND EVEN THOUGH THEY CHEATED, THEY STILL DIDN'T BLOW US OUT).

I FEEL AWFULLY BAD FOR ALABAMMER AT THIS TIME OF YEAR. TEXAS IS TEN STEPS BETTER THAN UTAH AND TEXAS IS GOING TO WHIP BAMMER THE WAY I WHIP THAT BOTTLE OF JACK EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!!

WELL, IT'S TIME TO GET BACK TO MY REINDEERS CAUSE THEY ACTING A FOOL Y'ALL.

UNTIL NEXT YEAR, I-MAN CLAUSE OUT!!

YOU CAN CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK EVERY MONDAY-FRIDAY!

Aubarn (AL) receives invite to the Outback Bowl...

...and that's ironic considering we've got thousands of Aubarn (AL) grads working at Outback's all 'cross the country!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!

Happy Halloween from the AUbarnie!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

"Monster Mash" music video starring: Dale (moi), I-Man, Otis Franklin, Charles from Reeltown, and Coach Gene Cheez-it!!

Notes From the Toilet Bowl

Alabammer Opelika Polytechnic Institutes' official I-Man Clause Toilet Bowl Logo.

Here's how the Aubarnie blogger currently stands in terms of SEC Bowl Game predictions: 1-3.

Currently, we predict every SEC team to win but Alabammer. We also predicted us to win our very own bowl: the toilet bowl, simply because our opponent forfeited the game (even though we're so gosh darn awesome, nobody was man enough to play Gene Cheezit).

We'll have our post-game thoughts on the crappy bowl that Alabammer went to as soon as it's over.

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

A Belated Christmas Card From The Saban's

Today, we received a late Christmas Card from the Saban family in our Wire Road mailbox and the good folks down at Tiger Rags managed to upload it onto their computer. Here it is:

I know Nick Saban is an evil man, but this right here is proof that Christmas brings out the genuine kindness in us all. Nick Saban, pictured above with the Alabammer I-Man Clause hat on, personally sent this to every Barnie in Opelika and even though there was no return address, we rolled Booger's Corner as a big "Thank You, Coach".

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY and MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

A Christmas Poem

Looks to me like all he's missing is an I-Man Clause hat and a woodshed in the background!

Tis the night before Christmas,
And all is at rest,
For after a decade of stumbling,
Bama’s finally the best,

Best in blocking and tackling,
In recruiting and class,
Best in running the ball down your throat,
Then killing you with the play action pass

We’ve got the best coach,
The consensus has spoken,
For he’s taken every award,
Our opponents’ wills he has broken,

From the lectern he promised,
We would dominate,
Now almost two years later,
Auburn has fallen prostrate,

First Bowden got fired,
Then Fat Phillip fell,
Then Sylvester…then Tubby…
All that’s left is the history to tell,

And thirty-six to nothing,
The champs beat the dumb,
But this game simply was a foreshadowing,
Of the next nine to come,

Saban caused Auburn to panic,
Not once, but yes, twice,
With an OC’s hiring and firing,
They rolled the dice,

And then they fired Tubby,
Citing he seemed to lack,
And then hired Gene Chizik…Gene Chizik!
DOUG BARFIELD IS BACK!

Our rivals, they hate us,
And cheered when we lost,
The Gators played perfect,
Tim Tebow was boss

But this was only the beginning,
As our talent continues to rise,
2008 will be remembered,
As the season of surprise

When a team filled with character,
Bought into a plan,
And played unified,
Behind one incredible man,

A foundation was laid,
As the scoffers fell away,
And Alabama climbed back to the top,
Each football Saturday

And stompings and beatdowns,
Though fun to take in,
Will lead to the big prize,
Championships we will win

So as we approach Christmas,
It’s really about Christ,
And the birth of a Savior,
Offering forgiveness and paradise,

But after this and my family,
The best gift I’ll unwrap,
Is the realization that Bama is a force again,
And Auburn isn’t worth a crap.

Credit this worthwhile read to intheknow72 at CapstoneReport.com

I(ncomprehensible)-Man-Clause Speaks Out on Christmas

I-Man Clause: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka the only undefeated Finebaum caller aka the only Santa Clause with black chest hair.

HO... HO... HOES! HEEEEEEEEEEEERE I AM! LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE NORTH POLL CONFEDERACY: I-MAN HOMIES!

YA KNOW, AS I SIT HERE AN LISTEN TO ALL THE BAMMURZ CALL IN AND TALK ABOUT SABAN THIS AND SABAN THAT, ALL I GOTS TO SAY IN RESPONSE TO THOSE CRIMSON NECKS IS WAR GENE DAMN CHIZIK! DO Y'ALL BAMMZERZ NOT REALIZE CHIZIK IS BUILDING A DYNASTY THAT SABAN ONLY DREAMS OF DOING ON HIS XBOX 360?

FOLKS AKA BAMMERSES, THAT RUMOR OF NICK SABAN LEAVING AFTER THIS COMING SEASON IS TRUE! WHY? BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE AIN'T GOING TO BE ABLE TO RUN AGAINST THE MACHINE DOWN IN OPELIKA THAT IS GENE CHIZIK. AND LIKE THE FEMALE THAT HE IS, HE'LL RUN OUT ON THE BAMMERS, LEAVING 'EM COACHLESS, AND THEN NOBODY IS GOING TO WANT TO COME COACH AT BAMMER BECAUSE WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO COACH IN A STATE WHERE, NOT ONLY DO THEY HAVE TO COMPETE WITH OPELIKA, BUT GENE CHIZIK AS WELL?1?1?1?1 THAT'S ALMOST LIKE A CAT ENTERING A PIT BULL CAGE ATTEMPTING TO EAT THEIR FOOD.

CONTINUE TO FEAR BAMMERS, A NEW STREAK IS NEAR!

Merry Christmas from our Aubarn family to yours...

From all of us here at the AUbarnie blogger, we'd like to extend our families Christmas wishes to yours! WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

Official 2008 Aubarn Bowl Game Theme Song

Sure beats playing a crappy Utah team in a crappy bowl!