Cheez-it Effect Now Making Impact on Alabammer Recruiting

Photo courtesy of Church of Saban

Prime Alabammer recruit Gerald West has decommited from Alabammer.

This guy was so ass-backwards dumb, he didn't know a little town called Opelika, home of The Polytechnic Institute, even existed! However, after doing a little research in his private time, he seen that we are the number 1 team in the state of Alabammer. He furthered his research by finding out who the head coach of The Polytechnic Institute was. That's when he said, "I'm getting the hell out of here!"

He was so scared of Coach Cheez-it, he didn't even want to play for him!

Chalk down another victim of The Cheez-it Effect... Before you know it, Alabammer will be begging us to send our recruits their way because if Coach Cheez-it keeps it up, T-Town will be more like a Ghost-Town!

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

I(ncomprehensible)-Man on Coach Cheez-it's First Recruit...

I-Man: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka only undefeated Finebaum caller.

WHHHHHHAZZZZZZZ UP!!!!! HERE COMES ME, LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY: I-MAN MY FELLOW BARNIE HOMEDOGS!!

WELL... WELL... WELL... IT LOOKS LIKE COACH GENE CHEEZIT HAS STOLEN THE RECRUITING SPOTLIGHT AWAY FROM COACH SATAN SABAN ALREADY!

HELL, AUBARN MAY BE RANKED 26TH NOW, BUT WE'RE ALREADY THREATENING ALABAMMER'S NUMBER 4 RANKING ACCORDING TO RIVALS.COM.

ANYWAY, WE STOLE OLE HARRIS GASTON AWAY FROM COLLEGE FOOTBALL POWERHOUSES: UAB, MISSISSIPPI STATE, KENTUCKY, AND VANDERBILT, WHO BARELY BEAT US BY A POINT THIS YEAR!!!!

I FEEL HARRIS GASTON WILL DESTROY THOSE ALABAMMER WIDE RECEIVERS IN THE NEAR FUTURE, AND HE WILL LEAD US TO ANOTHER IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP SOMETIME SOON. I CAN'T WAIT.

BAMMERS BEWARE AND COACH SATAN YOU'D BETTER FEAR AND KNOW THAT YOUR NUMBER 4 RANKING IS IN SERIOUS JEOPARDY BECAUSE AUBARN RECRUITING IS MOVING ON UP, BITCHES!!!

I-MAN OUT! CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK MONDAY-FRIDAY!

***Moderator's Note: I intend on posting my thoughts on Coach Cheez-it's first "big time" recruit sometime Wed. evening. WDEH***

Let the battle begin!

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