The Mt. Rushmore of Aubarn (AL)...

Tell us who your Mt. Rushmore is!

If you reside in the wonderful county of Lee, then you more than likely don't own a satellite dish or cable box, which are two new phenomenal breakthroughs in modern day technology -- especially for the technologically impaired, like us Barnies.

Anyhow, ESPN is conducting a "Mt. Rushmore" of each state... and by the way, for the state of Alabammer, tAOPI had former Heisman National Championship Winner, Bo Jackson, as one of the inductees (HA! HA! ALABAMMER, WE HAD A FOOTBALL PLAYER MAKE THE STATE'S MT. RUSHMORE AND YOU DIDN'T! HA! HA! HA!).

So, after hearing about this recent ESPN feature, I decided to come up with my own Mt. Rushmore of Aubarn (AL). As you can see in the picture listed above, the inductees are Marlboro Man, I(ncomprehensible)-Man, Coach Cheez-it, and one cow which represents the billions of cows that can be found in Lee County and on the campus of The Alabammer Opelika Polytechnic Institute (cows are one of our 157 mascots and our most notable one(s) at that).

Now, the reason I don't have good ole Aubarn Men™ like Bo, Robert Baker, Eric Ramsey, Shrug, Tuberneck, and Dyed, is simply because I don't live in the past like Bammers do. I chose modern day candidates instead of ancient candidates that most Aubarn people don't remember anymore.

With that being said, I'd like to ask you (the readers) who your choices for Aubarn (AL)'s Mt. Rushmore may be (please keep it Aubarn related in another words Nick Satan IS NOT a candidate)...

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

Marquies Gunn Earns Robert Baker Lifetime Achievement Award

Gunn lends us his "Robert Baker Blue Steel" pose.

It is being reported that legendary Aufarm all-star, under the Tuberneck regime, both on and off the field, was arrested last Wednesday for the unlawful distribution of the poor man's drug: cocaine. I guess cops don't understand all he was setting out to attempt was a good deed in helping others...

Robert Baker, another Aufarm all-star here in Aubarn (AL), was arrested and sent to "the big house (not Michigan's football stadium)", under similar charges years ago.... Robert Baker is now a legend and inspiration to all the youth who are aspiring to be drug dealers here in Opelika.... Robert Baker annually hands out a prestigious award known as the "Robert Baker Lifetime Achievement Award" to those who consistently do good deeds here in the ugliest village on the plains. After receiving word of Gunn's monumental achievements, Robert Baker sent him the award, first class, to the prison cell right next to him, which is currently being reserved for Mr. Gunn.

Other RBLAA winners who displayed character and class and done nothing but good deeds, under coach Tuberneck are: two time award winner, Clifton Robertson (second-degree rape; assault); Deandre Green (possession and the discharging of illegal firearm on campus) and Brandon Reed (possession and the discharging of illegal firearm on campus; illegal possession and use of stolen debit card); Lorenzo Diamond's Wife (shot Lorenzo in the stomach); Derek Magwood (robbery); Demontray Carter and Reggie Worthy (harassment); Then there's Kevin Sears, King Dunlap, and Trey Blackmon -- all whom will remain legendary Aubarn Men™ in the eyes of the Aubarn family.

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY AND WAR DANG ROBERT BAKER LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD HEY!

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