The Road Continues: Aubarn (AL) Demolishes West Virginiar

The "Country Roads" of Aubarn (AL) were just too much.... In fact, I hear they got lost down one of those backroads in Lee County on the way to the stadium!

The West Virginians REALLY enjoyed the Aubarn (AL) experience as they fit right in with Aubarn (AL)'s finest...

Barnies show their class and hospitality toward the Mountaineer nation.

The journey continued today as Aubarn (AL) DESTROYED the best team in the state of West Virginiar (and 50x better than Virginiar Tech) in a revenge game to hold on to our Opelika-Aubarn News number 1 ranking (HAHA ALABAMMER WE'RE RANKED HIGHER THAN YOU).

Coach Cheez-it said in his opening post-game presser: "Come on Tommy, even I can beat West Virginia".

West Virginiar came in ready to unleash their explosive offense, but Aubarn (AL) shut them down FORCING six turnovers and it was smooth sailing for the barn from then on out. Coach Gene Cheez-it improved his mighty all-time record to 8-19 after Saturday's blowout win over the Big East aka The Big Powerhouse Conference's powerhouse team: West Virginiar.

Heisman caliber quarterback, Jarrett Brown received the MVP of the game award as he led the Aubarn (AL) team to 24 points all by his lonesome.

Even Scarbiniensekilosy of the Bammerham news watched our game; and here's the quote of the day:

So, sure, it’s so easy to go overboard. It’s harder to mark the exact time and place when the Auburn fan base got carried away by a fresh start under a new coach, but let’s give it a shot.
The time: 7:11 p.m. on Saturday Sept. 19.

The place: The student section at Jordan-Hare Stadium. It was at that precise moment, in that general location, when a soaked and shirtless young man held aloft a t-shirt with a giddy, lofty message:

‘‘Bama Don’t Want None.”

Clearly, all that rain on the Plain had seeped into his brain. Alabama is a better team than last year, which means Alabama is one of the best teams in the nation. Again.

Bama don’t want none? Of Auburn? Are you sure?

The last time Auburn played Alabama, the Tigers didn’t score none.

Rather than taunting the Tide, it seemed like a better idea at the time to forget Nick Saban’s team and focus on his home state.

West Virginia.

Outside of Alabama, no one humiliated Auburn last season like West Virginia. Two possessions in Saturday night, Mountaineers had picked up where they left off.

It was just a joke though cause WE'RE NOT AUBSESSED WITH ALABAMMER! In fact, they're so scared right now they're obsessed with us! I'll have proof coming in the following weeks.

Next week Aubarn (AL) takes on the mighty Ball State Cardinals, WHO WENT UNDEFEATED LAST YEAR ALABAMMER! They may be 0-3 right now (with VERY CLOSE LOSSES to powerhouse teams such as North Texas, New Hampshire, and Army), but they're not a team to overlook. However, Coach Gene Cheez-it will have the Barnies ready to play. Ball State joins the likes of Louisiana-Tech, Mississippi State, and Western Virginiar as losers who all lost to Coach Gene Cheez-it and company. In addition, they only make our schedule that much tougher showing that we are that much better than Alabammer! And I want to note once more... I AIN'T OBSESSED! Just stating the facts.

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

Gene Cheez-it Wins SEC West Newbie Coach National Championship!!!

Coach Dan Mullen (secretly a bammer) said in the post-game presser, "Cheez-it cheated!" Obviously this guy has got serious issues...

The road to the national championship continued last Saturday as Aubarn (AL) pummeled fellow conference powerhouse (and not a Florida divisional school), Mississippi State (who is 2-1 against Bammer in the last three years).

Coach Cheez-it (now 7-19!), had a tough task in front of him going into a monstrous battle, Saturday night by having to work hard all week at coming up with a solution to STOPPING a Misserssippi State offense that currently EQUALS the Florider Gatorz offense. In addition, he was also battling for the SEC West Newbie Coach of the Year National Championship (HA HA BAMMER WON WON SEC WEST NEWBIE COACH OF THE YEAR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP AND YAL'L DIDN'T!! HAHAHA!). Coach Cheez-it yet again proved to the universe that he is the best coach in terms of all aspects of coaching Saturday night by, not just blowing out one of the best teams the SEC West had to offer, but also shutting down a Florida Gator offense now turned Mississippi State Bulldawg... and also winning the SEC West Newbie Coach of the Year National Championship!

Looks like even ole Tuberneck lent Coach Cheez-it some advice on how to shut down a Florider Gator offense, now turned Misserssippi State!

Next week, Coach Cheez-it has his hands full again with an undefeated and overly extremely powerful Mountaineer squad who blew out a great coach last year, which was Tommy Tuberneck. West Virginia currently has two convincing wins over BCS powerhouses, Liberty (33-20) and ECU (35-20). I know coach Cheez-it will prevail as this will be yet another tune up game for him. Winning just ain't a problem with the Cheez-whiz!

Courtesy of CrapstoneReport.

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!!

PREDICTIONS: 2008

This quote was taken from an ESPN page, written by a man called Mark Schlabach. 

"17. Auburn will name Gus Malzahn its coach-in-waiting
After the Tigers lose their first three games against Louisiana Tech, Mississippi State and West Virginia, Auburn will name offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn its coach-in-waiting to succeed recently hired Gene Chizik. USC quarterback Mitch Mustain, who played for Malzahn in high school and briefly at Arkansas, will transfer to Auburn."

Photo courtesy of Church of Saban

Okay, so it's obvious ole' Mark Schlabach is Bammer biased, just like the rest of the liberal media is.  

What is he seeing that we Barnies aren't? He must be as blind as the possum Granny Joan fried up last night for us.

This is just another reason for me to hate all the media, outside of The Opelika-Aubarn News. They're the most credible and unbiased news source, second to the AUbarnie Blogger of course. I want some of what he's smoking, because I sure as hell know it ain't that good stuff that ole' Coach Dye is growing down on his end of the farm. What's he gonna tell us next, Paul Finebaum is his bammer bed buddy? Or better yet, Paul Finebaum is a barnie? LOLOLOLOLOLOL! RIDICULOUS!

I'll be sure to send this moron, Mark Schlabach a friendly email immediately after we win the Iron Bowl National Championship and the BCS Championship next year... it's coming!

WAR DANG EAGLE HEY!

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