I(ncomprehensible)-Man's Thoughts on Cam "Jesus" Newtron, Ole Myth, and the 2010 CF Season...

I-Man: beat writer for the AUbarnie aka
the only undefeated Finebaum caller.

ALL I DO IS WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN ON THE FINEBAUM SHOW, JUST LIKE MY MIGHTY AUBARN (AL) TIGERZ DO ON THE FIELD... WHAT ABOUT YAL'L, MY FELLOW BAMMER ENVYING HATING AUBARN (AL) FAMILY MEMBERZ???

YA KNOW, RIGHT NOW AUBARN (AL) IS UNDEFEATED AND ALABAMMER IS DEFEATED!!! ALABAMMER LOST TO A TEAM WE STRAIGHT UP OBLITERATED SO BAD, STEVE SPURRIER HAD TO PUT HIS SECOND STRING QUARTERBACK IN!!! AND WHAT DID ALABAMMER DO THAT TEAM??? THEY STRAIGHT UP GOT WHOOPED ON!!!

BY MY LOGIC, ALABAMMER IS GONNA GET PWNED BY THE MESSIAH, DELL CAM NEWTON! IT AIN'T EVEN GONNA BE CLOSE!!! ALABAMMER DOESN'T HAVING THE COACHING THAT CLEMSON HAS. THEY DON'T HAVE THE QUARTERBACK THAT MISSERSIPPI STATE HAS. AND THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T HAVE THE DEFENSE THAT KENTUCKY HAS. THAT'S THE ONLY REASON WE WON BY 3 POINTS, AND GUESS WHAT... WE'RE GONNA WIN BY 300 IN THE IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!!

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!! AUBARN WILL SCORE 300 POINTS IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES OF THE IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP, AND BECAUSE THOSE CHEATING, CROOKED REFS ARE ON BAMMERZ SIDE, THEY'LL ENFORCE A MERCY RULE AND END THE GAME, BEFORE CAM "NICK SATAN" NEWTON CAN SCORE 3000 ON THEM!!

BOOK IT NOW AND BECOME A MILLIONAIRE!! I'VE ALREADY CONTACTED VEGAS AND SO SHOULD YOU... UNTIL NEXT TIME... I-MAN.... OUT!

CATCH ME LIVE FROM THE CAPITAL CITY OF THE CONFEDERACY ON THE FINEBAUM RADIO NETWORK MONDAY-FRIDAY!

What is little man's syndrome?

It's just another day on ITAT!



AL-UF is the most meaningless "Big Game" of the year.

Go Gators!!!

lets say

Texas: Proof Bammer will be brought down to earth...

recruiting stars dont mean everything

The signs that we use to send in plays

Whose crew is officiating the UF=UAt game tonight?

ULM put up more of a fight than UF**

Awful Florida.

do the turds say roll tide after every first down?

stupid play against bama, UF

Julio Jones' purple Liberace suit was awful

"The last 3 winners of this game have gone on to win

Pouncey will cost UF games, this year.

PAWL,,, aint nobody nowhere aint never gonna beat this team

We will beat alabama ...

Could Florida not shoot itself in the foot anymore

UF is just awful

We will not beat Alabama (Aubarnie: WHAT??!! OBVIOUSLY A BAMMER)

Wow, Florida finally runs a sweep and picks up good yardage

Unbelievable

After that pic-6, I wonder if UF would rather have SuperCAM

there was a PI no call in the endzone

Are the announcers...

The Necks have taken the field (the mock bama thread)

If Julio Jones is the best in the SEC

to shut em up you got to beat em

"Just as the ball got there" my arse...

Dre

Interesting stat

Mark Ingram for Heisman

AU offensive talent vs UF offensive talent

McElroy looks like a fairy

I don't know about you guys

Saban is a jerk

UF was in the red zone 5 times

So... what's it take to beat the turds...

UAT looks good (AUbarnie: WHAT??!! OBVIOUSLY A BAMMER!!)

Not Sure Whether Miles or Saban is Luckiest

Alabama has the most disciplined offensive line in the SEC


Needless to say there were far fewer posts related to Aubarn (AL)'s monumental win over a team who owns a winning record over Nick $atan, therefore, it's just another day at ITA(AL)T!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

What is little man's syndrome/Pat "Cough" Dye Gives Barnies a Word of Advice...

Aside from growing 'maters, spittin' tobaccer, and drinking just enough cough syrup to get drunk and lose his pants, what's sir Patrick Fain Dye been up to these days? I'll tell you what the mother fucker's been up to... speaking to Aubarn (AL) fans in Montgomery is what he's doing...

"If they get beat, it will be an upset," Dye told a huge crowd at the Montgomery Quarterback Club's meeting Tuesday night. "But you have to be lucky to go undefeated, I don't care how good you are.

"If they are not at the top of their game and the team they're playing is at the top of their game, that team will have a chance to win. The SEC is just too tough a league."

"This is kind of hard to say as an Auburn man, but Alabama is a fun team to watch," he said. "They play the game the way it ought to be played.

"Alabama's got the right man in there now," Dye said, referring to Tide head coach Nick Saban. "But it took them 20 years. We've got a good coach at Auburn right now, and the fans need to trust him.

...................................

"The big thing is, Auburn needs to worry about what's happening at Auburn and not worry about what's happening across the state. Because we can only control what goes on at Auburn. If we are the best that we can be at Auburn, then that'll take care of Alabama."

So is Pat Dye a hypocrite? And what's the point of Aubarn (AL) football if ya can't AUbsess over The University of Alabammer????

Gameday is coming to Aubarn (AL)...

So what kind of signs should you expect to see?

What is little man's syndrome?

It is... Josh Bynes' remarkable statement!

Another clean tackle, courtesy of a Ted Roof coached defensive player!

“I congratulate them on their national championship,” Auburn senior linebacker Josh Bynes said. “But at the same time, if one play goes differently, we could have won the Iron Bowl. Of course, it didn’t go our way, and they beat us. But we know we’re right there.
You look at coach (Nick) Saban’s first year at Alabama, and he didn’t win against us, and now all of a sudden, they’ve won two years against us and you hear all sorts of things like they’re going to own Auburn the next couple of years. I’m telling you … that’s not going to be the case.”
We know for a fact that we’re a better team now than we were the year before, and we’re going to go out there and play at a level 20 times higher than we did before, especially defensively.
It’s going to be a different feel around that game from now on, and with Alabama winning the national championship, it’s going to be even higher expectations. There’s nothing like beating the previous year’s national champion, and there ain’t nothing like winning the Iron Bowl.”

A Bammer fan on another forum summed it up perfectly for us, or as moi calls it, "nailed us on the head":

“Nothing in there about AU's hopes for this season, nothing about where they stand in the SEC or BCS picture, nothing about his personal progress. As usual, it's an article full of quotes on Bama......because that's what their program lives to do, beat Bama. At Alabama, we play 12 games in the regular season, whereas Auburn only plays one. And who might that one be? See the last team on the schedule and hence the reason (one of a million reasons at that) they save their only bye week prior to playing the last game in the regular season.

I literally can't remember, besides the actual Iron Bowl week, the last time that anyone associated with our program has even mentioned Auburn.”


But as Mr. Joshua Bynes said himself, ain't nothing like winning an Iron Bowl national championship and guess what bammers... WE WON SIX STRAIGHT IRON BOWL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS LAST DECADE AND Y'ALL DIDN'T!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHA!!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!

Who will be Jeff Lebo's replacement?

Jeff Lebo's reaction to discovering he'll no longer lead the Aubarn (AL) basketball program as head coach.

Some are saying it's Tubby Smith, but the Lee County KKK Chapter in Aubarn (AL) are saying otherwise.

Others are saying it will be Bobby Knight, but sources (Incomprehensible-Man and Bobby from Homewood) are saying it's Nick Saban, because he has exceeded his time limit at The University of Alabammer and he's aching to get out of Tuscalooser, Alabammer.

Whoever it maybe, I know AD Jay Jacobs will make the right decision based on X's and O's and not their overall head coaching record (just see Coach Gene Cheez-it Arthur Gustav Malzahn III, who led Aubarn (AL) to an eight win season, and AUlmost won the Iron Bowl National Championship!!).

My fellow Barnies, understand that there should not be even the slightest shadow of a doubt when it comes to trusting Jay Jacobs! That's the AUbarnie word of the day!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Top Ten AU Moments of the Decade: Number 8

Number 8:

The Rise and Fall of Tommy Tuberneck


The year was 1997: by the time the season's end rolled around, Aubarn (AL) had only ONE conference victory to boast. They ultimately replaced their coach, Tator Tot Bowden (who had resigned earlier on in the season), with the head coach of the only SEC team they managed to beat that year: Tommy Tuberneck.


The Tuberneck campaign started off a little on the rocky side, however, things were soon to change as his primary competition was soon to undergo half a dozen coaching changes in nearly five years with severe NCAA sanctions to atop that... which ultimately led to this:




Things were flowing smoothly on the plains, with not even the nearest roadblock in sight until... the handcuffs were removed from around Alabama's wrists and they managed to hit a grandslam by hiring Nick Saban, which ultimately led to the demise of Tubby's Aubarn (AL) head coaching career.

The Eight Epic Fail Prophecies of Barniedamus...

Barniedamus (left) sets, pondering on his ninth prophecy to the people of Lee County.

From Crapstonereport.

1. January 2007, Bama hires Nick Saban. After a rough first season, finishing 7-6…ironically potentially the same record Auburn will likely finish with this season yet they call 2009 a “success”…Saban racks up back-to-back undefeated (regular) seasons, equaling Chiznip’s win total in only one of those two seasons.

2. December 4, 2008, Bama loses a heartbreaker to Florida in the 2008 SEC Championship Game, then lays an egg against Utah in an embarrassing Sugar Bowl loss. Surely the making of a program’s fall, right? Nope. Bama responds with an encore that includes 12 more regular season wins and takes the West again.

3. November 27, 2009, Auburn plays its best possible game, employing new formations, trick plays and strategy unseen prior to its clash with the undefeated, highly ranked and Western Division Champs Crimson Tide. They jump out to a quick 14-0 lead. But methodically, Bama comes back. Finally, holding to a one point edge, Abarn sees Greg McElroy methodically eat the fourth quarter clock, driving Bama into field goal range for the go ahead kick…subsequently leaving the door open for Tigger victory, something Bama has been accustomed to doing for years. But this Bama team is engineered by a coach who knows how to deliver a knock-out blow in enemy territory, calling timeout and trumping a run to ensure a touchdown. Then you watch the coach who you’ve convinced yourself is the answer waste 1:13, wandering around in his own confusion while doing his best Les Miles impression. Hard to sleep that night, I’m sure.

4. December 5, 2009. If Auburn couldn’t take Bama down, surely they could sit back and enjoy the Gators finishing the job. Nope. Alabama systematically dismantles the Tim Tebow machine. Bama strikes a 13-0 season on its way to the National Championship game in the Rose Bowl, a storied stadium rich in the tradition of Alabama football. Another tough night to sleep if you’re wearing Aubie pajamas.

5. December 10, 2009. “If the Notre Dame job ever comes open, Saban is gone.” Those words danced in the hearts of every barner out there. Along with phrases like “Saban is a nomad…he’ll never stay anywhere long.” Notre Dame is the ultimate job…and he’s Catholic…oh yea, he’ll go if Weis ever gets canned. Well, Weis gets canned, Kelley gets hired, and Saban stays put, with plans to dominate college football from home base, right here in Tuscaloosa. This must wake you up at night if you’re “fearless and true.”

6. December 12, 2009. But, if Auburn couldn’t beat Bama, at least they could dash their Heisman Trophy hopes. Holding Ingram in check in the Iron Bowl would surely steal Bama’s thunder in the race for sports’ most prestigious individual award. Nope. Mark Ingram becomes the first Alabama player to win the Heisman, and Aubies everywhere have to watch Pat Sullivan shake hands with his new fraternity brother. That picture will burn in a memory for a lifetime.

7. December 13, 2009 The hardest realization. As a barner, you’re inferior, but you’re not stupid. You’ve watched good football all your life, primarily because the University of Alabama shares the state with you, but you’ve even had a few flash-in-the-pan good seasons of your own at the expense of Alabama's downfall. Though attempts for self-brainwashing are somewhat successful, something eats at your conscience that you’re doing yourself a disservice. And no matter how hard you want to convince yourself that Mr. 12-24, Gene Chiznip can compete with three-time SEC Champion and soon to be two-time National Champion, Nick Saban, who now can now boast recruiting/producing a Heisman Trophy winner, you know Chiznip can’t. You know that “AUlmost” is as close as you can hope for. You know 7-5, 8-4 or MAYBE 9-3 (if the NCAA lets you schedule Furman twice) and a Florida bowl are about as good as you’ll do with Chiznip, while your big brother continues to play big boy football and shelve the hardware. But really, that’s not all that different than what you’ve experienced all your life. It’s an Auburn tradition. And doggone it, be proud of it.

8. January 7, 2010...And finally, Aubarn fans proclaimed even Saban couldn't revive this dead program. The game had passed us by and we will never field a championship team, ever again. Our time was over and there was NO WAY we'd ever be 1/4 of what we were during our most glorious years... On this night, Alabama, led by Nick Saban, once again silenced the Barnies wishful cries of "it won't happen" as he and his team defeated the Texas Longhorns, winning the BCS National Championship...

What is little man's syndrome?

It is ITA(AL)T...


Currently, out of 22 topics on the main page forum, 19 are Alabama topics...

SI article on why bama's title deserves an asterisk...

UATer told my 6yr old son his dad was a loser this morning

New Facebook status

OMG after a rough night this story makes my day...

New facebook status

Even they knew this one is tainted

Could Jerry Jones come after Saban?

Classless Saban running up the score after a secure win.

38 quarters without holding..

Now that the cheaters have shot their wad.

Why is Mark Ingrams dad some kind of hero

BCS Trophy To Be Displayed in t-town Walmart.....Saturday...arrive early...

All American Tiffin misses extra point = funny**

bammers cheated again

The hit on McCoy was illegal

Some USC fans dropping Sabans name as replacement coach if PC leaves

All in All I would rather be an 8-5 AUBURN Man than a Bammer

Ingram is a theif just like his daddy

Bama still sucks

AND...

The Corner of Wire Road and Slug!

Currently, out of 17 posts, 10 are Alabama topics...

Tebow 1: 1-2

WRAS picks the SEC Championship Game

Bammer of the week

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What is SPUAT's deal with hats?

Got Asterisk?

McElroy digs deep and pulls out SPUAT's 8th* National Championship

Where else would it go?

Bammer of the week

ESPN polls regarding BCSMNC game

What is little man's syndrome?

No explanation needed!

IBNC Revyou: AUBARN (AL) WINS IRON BOWL (MORAL VICTORY) NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!

Coach Nick $atan congratulates Coach Gene Cheez-it on the Iron Bowl National Championship Moral Victory, Friday!

AUBARN (AL)'S BACK!!!!

And better than ever!!! Last Friday, Aubarn (AL) won their first ever Iron Bowl moral victory national championship of the decade and it couldn't have come at a better time as Always Under Bama In Envy won 21-26 against the almighty Nick $atan led Alabammer Tide.

Alabammer wanted that moral victory so bad...

But like my mommer always told me, "ya can't have everything you want!"

Mike Shuler, winner of four Iron Bowl National Championship Moral Victories.

Mike Shula dedicated today's trophy to his worthy Moral Victory successor, Gene Cheez-it. Mike Shula was the previous owner of three Iron Bowl National Championship moral victory trophies (2003: 23-28, 2004: 13-21, and 2006: 15-22), but that Alabammer reign came to an end on Friday.

Even Nick $atan wanted the trophy in 2007 (17-10), but he hadn't quite established himself as a worthy head coach the way Cheez-it and Shuler had.

G-Mac tells C-Todd, "Don't be unhappy, moral victories are better than an actual victory to these losers!"


I'll have more coming throughout the week...

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY AND WAR DAMN IRON BOWL MORAL VICTORY NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP HEY!!!

Panic time for Barnies? NOT JUST YET...

WE CAN SURVIVE A WEEK WITHOUT ALABAMMER FOOTBALL!!!

Alabammer may have a bye week, but there's still hope and here's why....

Folks, I know Opelika is in a severe state of panic right now due to the fact that Alabammer's not playing tomorrow, and we as Barnies can't go a second without us some Alabammer, specially on Saturdays, but not all hope is lost...

Tomorrow, Aubarn (AL) is playing Ole Misses for those of you who didn't know. Now I know it's not Alabammer, but it's fourth-best at the max!!

Sure, maybe we can't hope and pray all day long prior to kick-off that Alabammer's opponent will defeat them, nor can we disect the game pointing out that the refs are on Bammer's side, nor can we point out how many times $atan drops the F-bomb on the sideline, nor can we fantasize all day long about wishing we could be them for a day laugh cause Bammer ain't us, but even we need to rest up on the Alabammer obsession every now and again...

And look on the bright side, Alabammer is playing LSYOU next weekend so they'll be back and we can focus back on them, and put Aubarn (AL) behind us!

So there ain't no need to panic... Alabammer will be back soon enough!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!

Operation: Backfire Update... Somebody had better get Curtis Anderson on the phone QUICK!

Sourch: Harris to be reinstated after six game suspension

News broke today that Alabammer's Jerrell Harris is going to be reinstated in two weeks according to bammer coach Nick $atan. For us Barnies, this is NOT good news.

I hope the Aubarn (AL) boosters have gotten wind of this so they can bribe Curtis Anderson into maybe luring ole' Jerrell back into another trap in hopes of derailing Alabammer's program once again.

Even though the plan failed... at least they have no clue that the Aubarn (AL) boosters are the source of all this mambo jumbo! ROUND TWO HERE WE GO!

No word on whether he has read my open letter to him or not.

The Difference Between Alabammer and Aubarn (AL)...

Eager to know the difference between Alabammer and Aubarn (AL)? The answer lies just below in the pictures...

"S" the coach...

"S" The Sanctioned...

Bear Bryant Obsession...

Bear Bryant AUbsession...

The Start of a New Legacy...

The Start of a New Legacy (Barnie version)...

Got 12...

Got 12...

Alabammer at ESPN's Gameday...

Aubarn (AL) at Alabammer's ESPN Gameday...



Aubarn (AL) on ESPN's Gameday...


Parole Tide...

Even Saban Predicts Seven...

Other classic Barnie Gameday signs worth noting (couldn't find the pics): TERRANCE CODY IS FAT; $ $ATAN $; SARAH JESSICA PARKER WILSON; GOT SIX?

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!!!!

Operation: Backfire... The AUbarnie's Letter to Curtis Anderson

Don't tell the Bammers, but our Operation Derail has backfired!

Dear Curtis Anderson,

As a sincere and lifelong Aubarn (AL) fan, I must commend you on your complete dedication and focus on derailing the tracks that The University of Alabammer AT Tuscalooser is currently on -- as well as being brave enough to be the soul middle man for the Aubarn (AL) boosters when nobody else would do it.

When the top-secret news broke across Aubarn (AL) message boards all across the net that Aubarn (AL) boosters promised to get Alabammer back by signing all of the states top recruits (and cheating as well... after all who wouldn't want to attend four years at Aubarn (AL) ?) -- namely Jerrell Harris, Barnies all across Lee County celebrated in unison. We rolled Toomer's Corner and even threw a "Get 'em back" rodeo in further celebration.

Now, it has come to my attention that Bammers are starting to gain suspicion of our attempts to destroy their program, bringing them down to our level of greatness. After reporting that Robert Witt flew to the NCAA headquarters to speak with the NCAA -- a president wouldn't fly to talk about a player's eligibility, Bammers getting the Alabammer Attorney General involved, and someone spilling the beans that you're wife is an avid Barnie, and your son currently attends school here at Aubarn (AL), the plan has back-fired.

Here are a few solutions from keeping Aubarn (AL) out of trouble: 1) Tell them you're secretly working for The University of Alabammer AND NOT Aubarn (AL) boosters. 2) Tell your wife to change her allegiance (temporarily) and enroll your son at Alabammer (temporarily). 3) Get the Aubarn (AL) boosters to lend you enough cash to buy ALL of the Alabama players Escalade Limo's (and tell them they're from Bear Bryant Jr.). 4) Send a fake contract to Nick Saban from Opelika High School offering him $40,000 a year to come coach the Bulldogs.

Now you must do this ASAP or else we'll get canned for this. Seeing as how you're brighter than most Bammers are saying, I trust that you'll make the right decisions by choosing NOT to report Aubarn (AL)... after all, telling them you had no idea Jones, Ingram, and Harris were football players was a good start.

With that being said, we thank you for your Aubarn (AL) patronage and a big WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY is deserved!

The Road to the BCS Championship Begins...

The road begins today!

Coach Gene Cheez-it has already stated that he's already ordered our Opelika-Aubarn News preseason predicted to win the Iron Bowl and BCS National Championship rings!

Coach Gene Cheez-it holds up OA News' preseason ranking for Aubarn (AL) for the AUbarnie at yesterday's practice... but it looks like he forgot to wear his Aubarn (AL) gear to practice. Guess it don't make much of a difference!!

We'll have our post-game analysis up sometime tomorrow. Until then, let's go out there and kick the Saban out of Derek Dooley!

WAR DAMN EAGLE HEY!